Relationship woes

[Frank bierce]

Pics of the chick with chainsaws?

On a more seriouser note, I'm really sorry it went this way Frank. I'd love to be the optimist and say that there was still hope, but it's not sounding too good at this point. Hopefully she will go easy, if she's made up her mind to go, and it won't be so bad.

Just have to see how it goes. She honestly does have a lot of mental baggage. From what her mom says, this is what she always does when she splits, because she feels she needs to have someone all the time. It will likely last a few months. When the newness, and excitement wear off...she will probably regret it.

 

[jakethesnake]

Just have to see how it goes. She honestly does have a lot of mental baggage. From what her mom says, this is what she always does when she splits, because she feels she needs to have someone all the time. It will likely last a few months. When the newness, and excitement wear off...she will probably regret it.

Give the woman some space. If not she’ll just run farther. I don’t know the whole scoop. Don’t call her you’ll dig yourself in a hole. Go out with some other women. Even if they are just your friends. We’ve been there too man.

More often than not some rebound guy is gonna make himself look stupid and thus if you stay away makes you look better. Every situation is different. If you make yourself look weak a woman won’t want to be around you. They are hardwired that way. Give yourself time and space too. You need to recover as well.

all I got for you boss

 

[Frank bierce]

Give the woman some space. If not she’ll just run farther. I don’t know the whole scoop. Don’t call her you’ll dig yourself in a hole. Go out with some other women. Even if they are just your friends. We’ve been there too man.

More often than not some rebound guy is gonna make himself look stupid and thus if you stay away makes you look better. Every situation is different. If you make yourself look weak a woman won’t want to be around you. They are hardwired that way. Give yourself time and space too. You need to recover as well.

all I got for you boss

This is pretty much my exact plan. It’s hard not to look weak now...but a little time will fix that. Her and I have been through this one other time before we were married.
I was regretfully unfaithful, and she left. I let her be...and she messaged me after 4 months if I ever thought about getting back together. I imagine this will take the same route.

 

[jakethesnake]

This is pretty much my exact plan. It’s hard not to look weak now...but a little time will fix that. Her and I have been through this one other time before we were married.
I was regretfully unfaithful, and she left. I let her be...and she messaged me after 4 months if I ever thought about getting back together. I imagine this will take the same route.

Yes. Exactly. No sense to make a mess or be rude but for a woman to want to be with a man she has to view him as strong. Little devils will test you. Hell there’s one out there I still care about. I just wouldn’t give her a title which I guess did some emotional harm. I would revisit that one So I can agree with a few on here. They are not all the same so to speak. Give yourself some time and be a man frank
No need to worry over some guy. Stay confident

 

[WillG]

I've kinda been feeling the same about my relationship with my girlfriend for a while now. There's a lot of stuff that I just don't like. A few examples of stuff. The biggest thing is that my parents house that we rent from them is absolutely deplorable, it's one huge mess that I feel won't ever get cleaned up. Another few things that bother me is that it seems like all she does all day is get stoned and not do much, I can't do much about her smoking weed as it was just legalized in CT for recreational use. She also hasn't had a job pretty much since she moved in with me. She doesn't drive, and I don't think she ever will. I bust my ass working 5/6 days a week at my regular job and a few nights a week doing side work in the garage on small equipment. I think it's time for me to move on however it's difficult as we've been together for just over 3 years now. Any advice anyone?

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[Woodslasher]

I've kinda been feeling the same about my relationship with my girlfriend for a while now. There's a lot of stuff that I just don't like. A few examples of stuff. The biggest thing is that my parents house that we rent from them is absolutely deplorable, it's one huge mess that I feel won't ever get cleaned up. Another few things that bother me is that it seems like all she does all day is get stoned and not do much, I can't do much about her smoking weed as it was just legalized in CT for recreational use. She also hasn't had a job pretty much since she moved in with me. She doesn't drive, and I don't think she ever will. I bust my ass working 5/6 days a week at my regular job and a few nights a week doing side work in the garage on small equipment. I think it's time for me to move on however it's difficult as we've been together for just over 3 years now. Any advice anyone?

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I am the last guy that should offer advice on this, but I'll give it a shot. Have you brought up any of these grievances with her? If so, how did she react? If she is willing to change her ways, I'd say stick with it for a little longer. If she doesn't want to change, I'd say it is time to move on. In my very, very limited life experience I've learned communication is huge. You need to receive confirmation that the other person knows and understands exactly what you've said. Even if you think you've made yourself perfectly clear, that's only in your mind. They could have a whole different take on what you've said.

 

[WillG]

My mom, dad, and I are going to have a discussion about this with her in a couple weeks.

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[MarkEagleUSA]

My mom, dad, and I are going to have a discussion about this with her in a couple weeks.

Why wait? There's no better time than the present.

 

[WillG]

I really don't know how to start the conversation and I've already talked with mom and dad and they're going to help me. We are going to postpone for a couple weeks as this weekend was the holiday weekend and next weekend is the memorial service for a friend of mine who passed away recently so I may not be in the right state of mind to discuss.

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[USMC615]

Why wait? There's no better time than the present.

Exactly…no time like now to lay the cards on the table.

 

[Agent Smith]

I really don't know how to start the conversation and I've already talked with mom and dad and they're going to help me. We are going to postpone for a couple weeks as this weekend was the holiday weekend and next weekend is the memorial service for a friend of mine who passed away recently so I may not be in the right state of mind to discuss.

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Just my $.02... I'd sit down with her one on one first before bringing her in front of a bunch of people. That usually makes someone feel ganged up on and might not accomplish much. Talk to her first. Tell her it's change time or highway time. Her reaction to that should tell you pretty much what you need to know. I wish you the best

 

[bigbadbob]

I've kinda been feeling the same about my relationship with my girlfriend for a while now. There's a lot of stuff that I just don't like. A few examples of stuff. The biggest thing is that my parents house that we rent from them is absolutely deplorable, it's one huge mess that I feel won't ever get cleaned up. Another few things that bother me is that it seems like all she does all day is get stoned and not do much, I can't do much about her smoking weed as it was just legalized in CT for recreational use. She also hasn't had a job pretty much since she moved in with me. She doesn't drive, and I don't think she ever will. I bust my ass working 5/6 days a week at my regular job and a few nights a week doing side work in the garage on small equipment. I think it's time for me to move on however it's difficult as we've been together for just over 3 years now. Any advice anyone?

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My mom, dad, and I are going to have a discussion about this with her in a couple weeks.

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Time to move on. It aint easy,,,
People dont change,,,maybe for a while,,,,but back to the old ways sooner or later.

 

[huskihl]

I really don't know how to start the conversation and I've already talked with mom and dad and they're going to help me. We are going to postpone for a couple weeks as this weekend was the holiday weekend and next weekend is the memorial service for a friend of mine who passed away recently so I may not be in the right state of mind to discuss.

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I’m with Mr Smith. Just you and her. Don’t be a dick about it, just tell her. You’re working your ass off and you guys could both use some extra $ and don’t need to spend it on weed.

 

[Mastermind]

People dont change

Well….they can. But it is really rare.

 

[Sagebrush33]

Frank, how ya doing man?

I just noticed this thread with the recent postings. I went through this too. A womanizer pretended to be my friend before inserting the knife. I let her go after 4yrs. We had been to hell and back with life experiences and developed an indestructible bond. Or so I thought. Took me 4-5 weeks to pull my head out of my a$$. I asked her if she was happy and she said yes. I knew she was lying to herself. As she was packing stuff in her SUV, I turned my truck around in the driveway and said, ''I'll help you." Loaded a bunch of her stuff in and we made a trip to the storage locker she rented. Emptied my truck and I said, "I'll see ya." This blew her mind.

I proceeded to live my life. Having a blast at the local watering hole and met some cool friends. Went to work everyday and stayed busy when not. It lasted 3 months.

We're together now. We've grown a bit stronger from it and that was 3 yrs ago. Not all women are the same. IMHO some women can get easily confused. They're not wired like us.

Unlike you, we are not married and don't have any kids together. Remain friends with her .... at the least. Your kid/s need that.

Good luck my friend.

 

[WillG]

Thanks for the advice guys. I'm going to have a sit down with her before we talk with my mom and dad.

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[deye223]

Well….they can. But it is really rare.

Very true Randy the key to it is we have to want to change that's why it is such a rare thing nobody else can make us change .

 

[Motorka]

I really don't know how to start the conversation and I've already talked with mom and dad and they're going to help me. We are going to postpone for a couple weeks as this weekend was the holiday weekend and next weekend is the memorial service for a friend of mine who passed away recently so I may not be in the right state of mind to discuss.

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She is using u. How old is she? Next step would be a child. So best way to do it is leave her. Simple as that and best for you.

 

[cus_deluxe]

my wife and i just celebrated 10 years married a few days ago. i wont lie to ya, we’ve had some close calls, a lot to do with the unknown expectations mentioned earlier in this thread, a fair bit to do with me being a *pretty boy. but we’ve had some hard conversations and have come out better for it. @WillG , i dont have the answer for you, but i have friends who sound like they have the exact same thing goin on. he works his ass off, she sits around “homeschooling” their kids and taking naps. he has his own faults, as do we all. what i can tell you is that their relationship is extremely volatile, cant tell you how many times in the last year that theyve had crazy screaming matches over basically nothing, and one of the two has walked out and said its over. 2 days later its hugs and kisses. but, its unhealthy for them, their kids and everyone around them. you are adults, sometimes adult conversations are required. i saw a quote on here in another thread that went something like, when the pain of continuing is more than the pain of making a change, then its time to make a change. good luck dude

 

[FergusonTO35]

I've kinda been feeling the same about my relationship with my girlfriend for a while now. There's a lot of stuff that I just don't like. A few examples of stuff. The biggest thing is that my parents house that we rent from them is absolutely deplorable, it's one huge mess that I feel won't ever get cleaned up. Another few things that bother me is that it seems like all she does all day is get stoned and not do much, I can't do much about her smoking weed as it was just legalized in CT for recreational use. She also hasn't had a job pretty much since she moved in with me. She doesn't drive, and I don't think she ever will. I bust my ass working 5/6 days a week at my regular job and a few nights a week doing side work in the garage on small equipment. I think it's time for me to move on however it's difficult as we've been together for just over 3 years now. Any advice anyone?

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You have already answered your own question. When you know in your heart that a relationship or a job is not working out you have already crossed that line. If you continue on, you'll end up having children together which means she will be a part of your life forever in some way.

Also, a functional adult shouldn't need someone else to tell them to get a job and hold up their own end of the household. If she thinks that laying around smoking pot all day while you work your arse off is good and normal behavior, then that is a huge problem! She is no different than the stereotypical unemployed young man who plays video games in his mom's basement all day.