Relationship woes

[Motorka]

Do id before she wants children. Use rubber no matter what she saying.

 

[USMC615]

Not to beat a dead horse...my previous response of "no time like the present to lay the cards on the table" certainly had some 'read btwn the lines' with it. But others have stated what that was since my post. You're a grown young man, she's a grown young lady. No sense in mom and dad being part of the discussion btwn you and her. The fact that you two rent a place from your parents has zero relevance in anything. You're both adults...you two came together without any parents involved...you split if that's the necessary path to go, as adults. Sitting around getting high, no job, etc...if that ain't the writing on the wall I don't know what is. My two pennies...time for some walking papers and the sooner the better.

 

[WillG]

Thanks for the advice guys. Now I just need to make a plan and put it into action.

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[FergusonTO35]

Good luck to you. I would also advise, if possible, plan to move out of the place you rent from your folks at some point. Landlording between relatives seldom works out well in the long term. My experience is that when it does go south it goes bad and causes years of hurt feelings for everyone.

 

[WillG]

Mom and dad actually live about half an hour away. I'm planning on staying in the house long term. I have a good work space and all of my tools etc are there. Been in the house since 1996.

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[deye223]

This may be cynical on my behalf but in my country I have seen it time and time again a woman is comfortable where she is as soon as she sees that you are not happy they get pregnant fast and then you are screwed

 

[Lightning Performance]

Some people have baggage they will never deal with from before you ever entered the picture. You can only fix you so you damn well better remember that you youngins. Get your chit together and find someone who matches that is a damn good start. We have little in common but think alike on a lot of fronts.

There is an ass for every seat and you might be sitting in the wrong one yourself. When was the last time you asked yourself what you want in a mate?... just do it then spit it out.

Laying your cards on table from the git go will avoid most of the unknowns. When unknown takes hold your both done with that relationship and trust building till you get a clue. An explosion is not always a bad thing from your mate. It has a way of unleashing all that pent-up bs that bothers them. Insite quickly becomes a reality check. You have to just state your wants and wishes as they are not as you wish they could be. Asking them to change or bend is not a good thing most times. Being a leader makes it easier to a follower. We are both leaders but rarely clash on that front.

If you want to make a long haul you can't start with empty tanks and running a guessing game. Literally map your chit out and lay it down. We have no secrets. When chit comes up we spit it out right quick. Most couples never started with a game plan. I/we did and it just makes for smooth sailing most times. We don't always agree but the respect never leaves us. Something many couples or threesomes lack I'm afraid. If your going to act like a dik or a pushover don't be surprised when the meltdown comes and it will. Sponges never stop absorbing so avoid them.
Confidence breeds confidence. One of the very reasons we were attracted to eachother. We don't like weak personalities or pushover types. Undiceided and usually confused about what they want is not sexy or desirable to us. Others may not agree.

The compition is ever present in jockeying for a position in another persons life when it comes to their time. If it's good times everyone wants your time and peice of the action. Gold diggers never chase solid partners in a tight relationship. No pot of gold to be had. Crazy likes to try and find a way in but rarley does when dealing with two people together on the same page.

Most people instinctively know what they what and have no idea how to find it. Be confident and they will find you. Walking away from stuff broke beyond repair took me years to figure out and it wasn't easy with two kids. They didn't need to be subjected to the BS daily. You may not realize it is a daily thing for kids. They don't see the real tomorrow they just hope tomorrow will be better than today. I was not willing to teach my childeren that so I ended it for once and all. Been married seventeen years now and together for over twenty with one child to our credit. My ex is on engagement who knows how many, three failed long term relationships and one divorce. We were never married. The kids lost the most imo. I tried to be friends but she, not my doing, manage to destroy every relationship she ever had but with her mother the enabler she still lives with till this day. Mom failed too then gave up about fourty years ago. That apple don't roll too far from the tree.

Rant Done
GL
Feel free to tell me to *f-word of you rat bastard. My wife does wif a smile quite often now days
I just say "Thanks babe"... my standard response now lol.

 

[Lightning Performance]

Oh yeah.. it's just not that hard to say, I'm sorry or I was wrong or you are right.
Even if your right it still ain't that hard to do. Make them think about that for a while.

 

[FergusonTO35]

Mom and dad actually live about half an hour away. I'm planning on staying in the house long term. I have a good work space and all of my tools etc are there. Been in the house since 1996.

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Didnt realize that, sorry if I sounded bossy there. My family and my wife's family have had alot of problems with codependency and failure to launch. Strangely, the generations before mine had the worst problems with it.

 

[Agent Smith]

Some people have baggage they will never deal with from before you ever entered the picture. You can only fix you so you damn well better remember that you youngins. Get your chit together and find someone who matches that is a damn good start. We have little in common but think alike on a lot of fronts.

There is an ass for every seat and you might be sitting in the wrong one yourself. When was the last time you asked yourself what you want in a mate?... just do it then spit it out.

Laying your cards on table from the git go will avoid most of the unknowns. When unknown takes hold your both done with that relationship and trust building till you get a clue. An explosion is not always a bad thing from your mate. It has a way of unleashing all that pent-up bs that bothers them. Insite quickly becomes a reality check. You have to just state your wants and wishes as they are not as you wish they could be. Asking them to change or bend is not a good thing most times. Being a leader makes it easier to a follower. We are both leaders but rarely clash on that front.

If you want to make a long haul you can't start with empty tanks and running a guessing game. Literally map your chit out and lay it down. We have no secrets. When chit comes up we spit it out right quick. Most couples never started with a game plan. I/we did and it just makes for smooth sailing most times. We don't always agree but the respect never leaves us. Something many couples or threesomes lack I'm afraid. If your going to act like a dik or a pushover don't be surprised when the meltdown comes and it will. Sponges never stop absorbing so avoid them.
Confidence breeds confidence. One of the very reasons we were attracted to eachother. We don't like weak personalities or pushover types. Undiceided and usually confused about what they want is not sexy or desirable to us. Others may not agree.

The compition is ever present in jockeying for a position in another persons life when it comes to their time. If it's good times everyone wants your time and peice of the action. Gold diggers never chase solid partners in a tight relationship. No pot of gold to be had. Crazy likes to try and find a way in but rarley does when dealing with two people together on the same page.

Most people instinctively know what they what and have no idea how to find it. Be confident and they will find you. Walking away from stuff broke beyond repair took me years to figure out and it wasn't easy with two kids. They didn't need to be subjected to the BS daily. You may not realize it is a daily thing for kids. They don't see the real tomorrow they just hope tomorrow will be better than today. I was not willing to teach my childeren that so I ended it for once and all. Been married seventeen years now and together for over twenty with one child to our credit. My ex is on engagement who knows how many, three failed long term relationships and one divorce. We were never married. The kids lost the most imo. I tried to be friends but she, not my doing, manage to destroy every relationship she ever had but with her mother the enabler she still lives with till this day. Mom failed too then gave up about fourty years ago. That apple don't roll too far from the tree.

Rant Done
GL
Feel free to tell me to *f-word of you rat bastard. My wife does wif a smile quite often now days
I just say "Thanks babe"... my standard response now lol.

Dr. Phil is gonna fuk you up

 

[Sagebrush33]

Dr. Phil is gonna fuk you up

I really needed today.
TY

 

[Motorka]

Thanks for the advice guys. Now I just need to make a plan and put it into action.

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Fastest way. Say you got fired at yob, car get taken by "repo man" and you must move out of the house.
Then hel her to.move out if the house . Just smile and wave.

 

[Frank bierce]

Haven’t been on too much lately. Dealing with the *s-word show that is soon to be my ex wife….hopefully anyway. At this point, I really feel, her leaving was probably the. Eat thing that could happen to me. After hanging out with someone else for a while, I really realized what I was missing. It’s amazing how you can settle over time, and not really realize it. It just becomes part of the daily grind.
Hope you all are doing well.

 

[Mastermind]

Haven’t been on too much lately. Dealing with the *s-word show that is soon to be my ex wife….hopefully anyway. At this point, I really feel, her leaving was probably the. Eat thing that could happen to me. After hanging out with someone else for a while, I really realized what I was missing. It’s amazing how you can settle over time, and not really realize it. It just becomes part of the daily grind.
Hope you all are doing well.

I get it Frank. Glenda is my second......and after 35 years together, I realize just how lucky I was to have the first relationship fail.

 

[Wonkydonkey]

Yeh I understand Frank.
It’s good to see you postin here

 

[Yukon Stihl]

I am waiting for the ink to dry from buying 1/2 my life back. Been over 2 years since she left. My daughter still hasn’t said a word to me since they left.
I also have a new girlfriend who treats me like a person she loves.

 

[USMC615]

Haven’t been on too much lately. Dealing with the *s-word show that is soon to be my ex wife….hopefully anyway. At this point, I really feel, her leaving was probably the. Eat thing that could happen to me. After hanging out with someone else for a while, I really realized what I was missing. It’s amazing how you can settle over time, and not really realize it. It just becomes part of the daily grind.
Hope you all are doing well.

Good to hear things are on the up and up for ya Frank…shed that past baggage as soon as possible and don’t look back! You’re making the absolute right decision.

 

[Moparmyway]

Thanks for the advice guys. Now I just need to make a plan and put it into action.

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How are you holding up Will ?

How did your one on one conversation go ?

 

[Moparmyway]

Haven’t been on too much lately. Dealing with the *s-word show that is soon to be my ex wife….hopefully anyway. At this point, I really feel, her leaving was probably the. Eat thing that could happen to me. After hanging out with someone else for a while, I really realized what I was missing. It’s amazing how you can settle over time, and not really realize it. It just becomes part of the daily grind.
Hope you all are doing well.

Good to see you seeing things straight.

Perspective changes when you see what’s out there !!!

 

[WillG]

How are you holding up Will ?

How did your one on one conversation go ?

Everything is going good here. She made a bunch of positive changes.

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