Some people have baggage they will never deal with from before you ever entered the picture. You can only fix you so you damn well better remember that you youngins. Get your chit together and find someone who matches that is a damn good start. We have little in common but think alike on a lot of fronts.
There is an ass for every seat and you might be sitting in the wrong one yourself. When was the last time you asked yourself what you want in a mate?... just do it then spit it out.
Laying your cards on table from the git go will avoid most of the unknowns. When unknown takes hold your both done with that relationship and trust building till you get a clue. An explosion is not always a bad thing from your mate. It has a way of unleashing all that pent-up bs that bothers them. Insite quickly becomes a reality check. You have to just state your wants and wishes as they are not as you wish they could be. Asking them to change or bend is not a good thing most times. Being a leader makes it easier to a follower. We are both leaders but rarely clash on that front.
If you want to make a long haul you can't start with empty tanks and running a guessing game. Literally map your chit out and lay it down. We have no secrets. When chit comes up we spit it out right quick. Most couples never started with a game plan. I/we did and it just makes for smooth sailing most times. We don't always agree but the respect never leaves us. Something many couples or threesomes lack I'm afraid. If your going to act like a dik or a pushover don't be surprised when the meltdown comes and it will. Sponges never stop absorbing so avoid them.
Confidence breeds confidence. One of the very reasons we were attracted to eachother. We don't like weak personalities or pushover types. Undiceided and usually confused about what they want is not sexy or desirable to us. Others may not agree.
The compition is ever present in jockeying for a position in another persons life when it comes to their time. If it's good times everyone wants your time and peice of the action. Gold diggers never chase solid partners in a tight relationship. No pot of gold to be had. Crazy likes to try and find a way in but rarley does when dealing with two people together on the same page.
Most people instinctively know what they what and have no idea how to find it. Be confident and they will find you. Walking away from stuff broke beyond repair took me years to figure out and it wasn't easy with two kids. They didn't need to be subjected to the BS daily. You may not realize it is a daily thing for kids. They don't see the real tomorrow they just hope tomorrow will be better than today. I was not willing to teach my childeren that so I ended it for once and all. Been married seventeen years now and together for over twenty with one child to our credit. My ex is on engagement who knows how many, three failed long term relationships and one divorce. We were never married. The kids lost the most imo. I tried to be friends but she, not my doing, manage to destroy every relationship she ever had but with her mother the enabler she still lives with till this day. Mom failed too then gave up about fourty years ago. That apple don't roll too far from the tree.
Rant Done
GL
Feel free to tell me to *f-word of you rat bastard. My wife does wif a smile quite often now days
I just say "Thanks babe"... my standard response now lol.