The "I work with dumb people" thread

[dall]

Have em call me.

you never answered my calls lol

 

[Mastermind]

you never answered my calls lol

I ain't missed any calls from you.

 

[Bill G]

Engineering, right? What's the biggest train you've driven so far? Have you learned stick shift on one yet?

I have know some girls that pulled a "train" while in school.
Sick chicks

 

[Bill G]

Can you relay that to my wife and kids? I would pay you

Trust me, you would rather they air it out rather than hold it in for decades.
That knock at the door on Christmas Eve by a process server handing you divorce papers is not good.
When he says "your wife says Merry Christmas arsehole" it tends to dampen your spirits.
Yeah I have been there

 

[FergusonTO35]

It's a good thing I don't care about the job I have or my head would've popped off a long time ago. I'm currently working at the local Advance Auto parts store. Been there about 9 months. It's not the most glamorous job but it isn't difficult, the commute is short, and it works with my school schedule.

I have never worked anywhere else where showing up not hungover and not calling off because you are drunk or hungover were such issues. When they are at work, my coworkers will all sit around and talk about what and how much they drank and how wasted they got like it's some sort of pissing match, but then when its time to show up for work, everyone has a "migraine" or a "stomach bug", or stumbles in 15 minutes late and hide and do nothing their whole shift because they are half kicked in the ass from the night before.

We're currently running on a skeleton crew, and we don't have the coverage for calloffs. That's a bigger issue that goes further up the ladder, but it's something we've got to work around.

Also this company is a posterchild for corporate mismanagement... holy *f-word, I thought Lowe's was bad. This place makes Lowe's look like they have Warren Buffett for a CEO. Their stock is absolutely in the *s-wordter, they are closing 700 stores, selling off assets to make their bottom line look better, and Autozone and O'Reilly are wiping the floor with them. Our sales suck, the targets are so ridiculously inflated we have no idea where we should actually be. Its no wonder, our prices are awful. I feel embarrassed charging people the prices we do.

Advance's idea of cutting operating costs? They set our remotely-controlled thermostat at 86°F in the summer so the AC wouldn't run. And now that it is cold they set it at 64° so the store is freezing. Too bad I found the temp sensor in the store and started putting ice packs or Hot Hands on top of it to get the AC or furnace to kick on.

They also told us they aren't fixing the front doors that are falling off the hinges and have a 3" gap at the bottom. As long as we can lock them, they are fine, we were told. Let the stores fall apart guys, I don't give a *f-word.

Bog standard for the automotive business when I was in it.

 

[old saw fixer]

When I was drinking heavily in my late teens up to my middle 40's, it was a point of pride amongst us to get to work on time showered and shaved. We felt rough but persevered.

 

[Mastermind]

When I was drinking heavily in my late teens up to my middle 40's, it was a point of pride amongst us to get to work on time showered and shaved. We felt rough but persevered.

Don't drink if you can't handle it was always my motto too.

 

[FergusonTO35]

When I was drinking heavily in my late teens up to my middle 40's, it was a point of pride amongst us to get to work on time showered and shaved. We felt rough but persevered.

For most of the guys I worked with, it was a point of pride to show up in the morning still drunk from the night before and still get the job done. I drank alot myself back then, but never took it that far. For me, it was always just enjoying my barley pop while reading or watching TV after work til bedtime. I rarely went to bars and never drove drunk.

 

[Only the Tony]

20 to 25 drivers out after 7 last night, I didn't do an exact count. One of our sayings are that peak season snuck up on us again this year. If only they would have Christmas on the same day or something. How can a multi-billion dollar company do so many stupid things. Our dispatcher has a piece of paper in accounting, but can't read a map or think a single intelligent thought. All he knows is what the computer screen tells him, no delivery experience at all. Five more Christmas seasons for me including this one.

 

[FergusonTO35]

This happened at the Toyota plant yesterday, my BFF is a maintenance tech there.

 

[stihl livin]

This happened at the Toyota plant yesterday, my BFF is a maintenance tech there.

View attachment 442187

Taco Bell at its best

 

[Bill G]

20 to 25 drivers out after 7 last night, I didn't do an exact count. One of our sayings are that peak season snuck up on us again this year. If only they would have Christmas on the same day or something. How can a multi-billion dollar company do so many stupid things. Our dispatcher has a piece of paper in accounting, but can't read a map or think a single intelligent thought. All he knows is what the computer screen tells him, no delivery experience at all. Five more Christmas seasons for me including this one.

Do you work for UPS?

 

[Only the Tony]

Do you work for UPS?

Yes. 25 years now.

 

[FergusonTO35]

Latest on my side job co-worker: he cracked the block on his Pontiac Aztek (!) and the pastor of his church is very kindly letting him drive one of his vehicles. Think about that, this dude is practically living out a country song. His wife left him, he moved back in with mommy, his 21st century AMC Pacer took a crap, and now he is driving an hour each way in a borrowed vehicle to work a very basic retail job. Just in case you think your life sucks, remember it could get alot worse in a hurry.

 

[Nutball]

Those country songs are best played backwards.

 

[Mastermind]

Those country songs are best played backwards.

I've heard it said that if you listen to Led Zeppelin backwards you can hear the devil speak, but if you listen to country music backwards you get your wife, your kids, and your car back.

 

[Only the Tony]

I've heard it said that if you listen to Led Zeppelin backwards you can hear the devil speak, but if you listen to country music backwards you get your wife, your kids, and your car back.

Forgot your dog.

 

[Bill G]

I've heard it said that if you listen to Led Zeppelin backwards you can hear the devil speak, but if you listen to country music backwards you get your wife, your kids, and your car back.

Well I been playing them backwards but it has not been working. My wife is still gone along with my Ford King Ranch F-350, 24ft Aluminum Wilson cattle trailer, 2 dogs, 1 cat, and 3 houses.

I still have my saws though... ...well she did take some of them too.

 

[Bill G]

Yes. 25 years now.

I kinda figured so when you mentioned drivers being out after 7PM.
I cannot imagine a young person with kiddos driving for UPS this time of the year.

 

[Yukon Stihl]

Well I been playing them backwards but it has not been working. My wife is still gone along with my Ford King Ranch F-350, 24ft Aluminum Wilson cattle trailer, 2 dogs, 1 cat, and 3 houses.

I still have my saws though... ...well she did take some of them too.

All I would like is my kid back