Tell me a joke.....

[Motorhead]

I told myself that I should stop drinking........But I'm not about to listen to a drunk that talks to himself.

 

[jeepsnchainsaws]

How do you top a car?



Tep on the brake tupid!

 

[Darin]

Moonbats are a big joke

 

[Wolverine]

 

[Wolverine]

 

[Wolverine]

 

[Motorhead]

A man is walking down the street, when he notices that his grandfather is sitting on the porch in a rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. Grandpa, what are you doing? the man exclaims. The old man looks off in the distance and does not answer his grandson.
Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist? he asks again. The old man slyly looks at him and says, Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandmas idea!

 

[Motorhead]

She told me if I turned off the light I could put it in her butt,I guess I should have let the bulb cool first.

 

[Wolverine]

 

[P.M.P.]

Take a look at this threads its a joke

http://opeforum.com/threads/happy-birthday-pussy.5020/#post-238964

 

[Motorhead]

Got thrown out of a strip club last night for using Monopoly money.I don't see why I should pay real money to see fake boobs.

 

[Motorhead]

Managed to have sex with my girlfriend for 1 hour 30 minutes doggy style last night. That's 4 minutes in human time.

 

[ajschainsaws]

A farmer employs a new young farm hand and his 1st job was too help the farmer mend up some fencing he goes out pulling up the razor wire and cuts his finger the farmers tells him too go back too the farm and stick his finger up a cows backside and it will help it heal real quick
So off runs the farm hand looking for a cow that will stand still
The farmers wife spots him lurking around she shouts too him hey you lazy devil get back too work
The boy says too her I've cut my finger real bad and farmer told me to find a cow stick my finger up her a***
Farmers wife says don't bother use me , ok says the boy , farmers wife replies ooaaahh that's not my arse , worker replies it's not my finger either !!

 

[Wood Doctor]

The basketball coach stormed into the university president’s office and demanded a raise right then and there.

“Please,” protested the college president, “you already make more than the entire History Department.”

“Yeah, maybe so, but you don’t know what I have to put up with,” the coach blustered. “Look.”

He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. “Run over to my office and see if I’m there,” he ordered.

Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. “You’re not there, sir,” he reported.

The coach turned to the president and said, "See what I mean?"

“Oh, I see what you mean,” conceded the president, scratching his head. “I would have phoned.”

 

[TJ the Chainsaw Mechanic]

 

[Locust Cutter]

That wouldn't work, seeing the Blue Oval on it means that it would fail too...

 

[Motorhead]

Fords don't need any help blowing up.

 

[merc_man]

That wouldn't work, seeing the Blue Oval on it means that it would fail too...

At least they circle there mistakes.

Sent from my SM-J320W8 using Tapatalk

 

[TJ the Chainsaw Mechanic]

Hadn't thought about that......well, this guy says it all.

 

[Wood Doctor]

Our love is solid as a rock, like the moon and stars.
We built our love today like Henry Ford built cars,
Not one that falls apart after once around the block,
Our love is solid as a rock.

The late George Jones? I don't see Chevy or Dodge mentioned anywhere.