Tell me a joke.....

[redtractor]

Why does a chicken coup have 2 doors? If it had 4, it'd be a sedan.

 

[redtractor]

A man visits a farmer friend & sees a pig with 3 legs. "Why does he only have 3 legs?"
"Oh", the farmer says, "that's a very special pig. I flipped the tractor & he dug me out from under it, saving my life."
"But why only 3 legs?"
"That's a very special pig. The house caught on fire while we were asleep and he knocked the door down & got us all out safely."
"You haven't said why he only has 3 legs."
"I told you he was a special pig! You don't think we're going to eat him all at once, do you!"

 

[Deererainman]

A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself."
That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife.
That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position. The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.
The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went. The man answered, "Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."

 

[Deererainman]

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam." The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way." He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f*cking potatoes!"

 

[Deererainman]

 

[Deererainman]

What happened here??

 

[wildroamer]

It must take a brave farmer to milk that ol' girl....

 

[ft. churchill]

Whadoya get when you cross an elephant and a poodle? A dead poodle with a 18" arsehole.

 

[Yukon Stihl]

What happened here??

It's true...T1 and DSS have a love child

 

[Wagnerwerks]

Two lost hunters stumbled upon a farm. The only signs of life were a few chickens in the small barn yard. Beside the barn was a well so the two weary hunters decided to go and try and get a drink. They looked into the well and did not see any water, only a deep black hole. Looking around to find something to throw in the well they came accross a transmission for a tractor laying beside the barn. Working together they picked it up and threw it in the well and waited for the splash. All of a sudden a goat came running around the barn straight at them. Just in the nick of time the two men jumped out of the way and the goat fell straight down the well. At that moment a farmer came walking around the other side of the barn. He asked them what could he do for them . One man said to the farmer, "You had better take care of your animals. Your goat just tried to attack us!" The farmer look back at him and said,"that's odd. Hes usually very calm and besides.... I thought I had him tied to the transmission sitting beside the barn."

 

[darkimpulse]

I was getting drunk at the bar the other night when the bar tender yelled out "Does anyone here know CPR?" I was feeling pretty good so I yelled back "I do, in fact i know the whole alphabet!" Everybody in the entire bar laughed..........except for one person.

 

[Gypo Logger]

The shaft of my penis is smaller than the head, so my hand won't fly off and hit me in the forehead. Lol

 

[TJ the Chainsaw Mechanic]

A mom was trying to give excuses to a kindergarden teacher as to why her sick daughter had missed 3 days of school. "Ok," says the daughter, "But don't tell the teacher I threw up. I want to save that for show and tell."

 

[olympyk_999]

The shaft of my penis is smaller than the head, so my hand won't fly off and hit me in the forehead. Lol

thats too bad...would likely clear most of the fappers out around here...hell we wouldnt even have this thread as the OP is the biggest one of them all

 

[darkimpulse]

When I see a girl, I first look at her hair. Then at her eyes, lips, her neck..........damn dial up Internet.

 

[weedkilla]

I just saw the "similar thread" at the bottom of the page.

 

[Locust Cutter]

I just saw the "similar thread" at the bottom of the page.

Speaking of fapping... pfffttttt. I'm liking Mtronic and Auto-tune saws more and more...

 

[duckman]

if your uncle Jack was stuck on a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off the horse ?

 

[TJ the Chainsaw Mechanic]

if your uncle Jack was stuck on a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off the horse ?

Nope! Not sure if that was the right answer or not. lol

 

[KenJax Tree]

if your uncle Jack was stuck on a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off the horse ?

No but I would help him get down