NSP2. Cuz PA WiFi sucks

[leadfarmer]

At this point there is nothing left to stain his pants.

Looks like yellow pee...wtf. and I pee alot [emoji37]

 

[leadfarmer]

So it starts with having Diarrhea for about two years and when it got bloody i finally told my doc and he sent me to a butt doctor who told me and i quote “ you might be the dumbest patient i have ever seen”. He scheduled me for an upper and lower GI check. The upper was first and involved drinking metallic apple juice and standing in a scanner that rotated me upside down and back. I still cant drink apple juice . Next up was the Super Colon Blow regimen to get my bowels all cleaned out nice and sparkly for the doc to look at. Then off to the lab where they gave me an enema in a box and sent me to the little bathroom to read the directions.
So next up, with a freshly washed, waxed and undercoated undercarriage I made my way back to my room in the paper gown of ass baring shame :0. They tell me I will be totally out of it and wont feel a thing and not to make any important decisions or sign any legal papers for at least 24 hours. They stick me on the guerney and roll me into the procedure room and ask me to roll on my side, where the enasthesiaologist sticks the little mask on me and tells me to count backwards from 100. I tried really hard to maintain my faculties but i made it to 89. I woke up as they are telling me that i need to sign the release for emergency surgery because they are taking me over to the hospital (adjacent to the lab facility) to operate on my ass literally. I was on good drugs when i woke up in my room at the hospital and the surgeon was telling my wife and i that everything went well and that they would test the polyp they removed to see if it was malignant or benign, He then said that the nurse would be in shortly to remove the packing from my hindregions. At some point i realize i have a catherter in my wangus and that’s a whole new experience. Well as time goes by I keep asking the nurses about removing the packing and they kind of act like I am still too loopy on pain meds to have any clue what is going on. They keep me overnight and the next morning the Surgeon checks on me and is pretty irritated that the nursing staff hadn’t removed my packing and says that at this point I will have to pass it naturally on my own before i can go home. Let that sink in ...I need to *s-word out about a half roll of paper towels that are cemented into my *a-hole by dried blood and swelling YAY.
It’s hard to tell which is more uncomfortable now the pressure of the catherter in my sheen or the packing in my rectum. I try like a soldier to Expel the packing for another 24 hours with no luck. In the meantime on my second night in the hospital

Waiting..............[emoji1787]

 

[Definitive Dave]

Good morning Dave.

Morning MIke

 

[LOMartin]

@Definitive Dave

Whoa. What a chity story.

I know your pain.
Warning. You may almost pass out when you finally let go of that brick.

 

[Definitive Dave]

And at the follow up appointments the doc always leaves lube all over your ass

 

[LOMartin]

And at the follow up appointments the doc always leaves lube all over your ass

Makes you think you s*** yourself again huh. What fun. Been dealing with this stuff since my mid twenties.

 

[Definitive Dave]

Luckily that was all more than a decade ago and i have been fine since (knock on wood).

 

[ray benson]

Good Morning. 50°F/ 10°C going up to 65°F/ 18°C. Heavy rain last night (2.5")

 

[Definitive Dave]

Humid with rain and getting up to 80 today here

 

[leadfarmer]

And at the follow up appointments the doc always leaves lube all over your ass

I made it half way tho the second part of your story and with tears in my eyes a severe pressure on my sphincter I was able to get to the throne with out soiling myself. As continuing to read I totally lost all control.....you should right a dam book of your life an retire a wealthy man [emoji1787]

 

[dall]

I made it half way tho the second part of your story and with tears in my eyes a severe pressure on my sphincter I was able to get to the throne with out soiling myself. As continuing to read I totally lost all control.....you should right a dam book of your life an retire a wealthy man [emoji1787]

when is your appointment ?

 

[Definitive Dave]

@leadfarmer live feed on facebook for science?

 

[PA Dan]

@leadfarmer live feed on facebook for science?

Another good reason I'll never be on Facebook!

 

[p61 western]

Good morning fellas.

 

[dall]

@leadfarmer live feed on facebook for science?

is this where the statement just checking *a-holes comes in to play ?

 

[moomer1848]

Good morning all,44/49* with rain

 

[p61 western]

Another good reason I'll never be on Facebook!

Lmao exactly. Howdy Dan.

 

[PA Dan]

Lmao exactly. Howdy Dan.

Hey Mike...hows things on the left coast?

 

[p61 western]

Hey Mike...hows things on the left coast?

Pretty good we actually have some spring like weather so far this week. How are things out your way Dan?

 

[Stump Shot]

Good morning ass bandits, rain is melting last night's snow.