NSP2. Cuz PA WiFi sucks

[dall]

It’s here

 

[PA Dan]

View attachment 179391

It’s here

So a video in what...30 minutes?

 

[dall]

So a video in what...30 minutes?

lol well see I have to go to a buddy’s house for a little bit

 

[PA Dan]

lol well see I have to go to a buddy’s house for a little bit

Some things are more important! If he was a real buddy he would understand! Typical slacker as usual!

 

[czar800]

lol well see I have to go to a buddy’s house for a little bit

Slacker! Unless you’re headed to my place right now with it.

 

[PA Dan]

Slacker! Unless you’re headed to my place right now with it.

You tell him Mike! I'll be right over dont start without me!

 

[Time's Standing Stihl]

lol well see I have to go to a buddy’s house for a little bit

You pussy! You're scared!

 

[farmer steve]

@leadfarmer,you don't have anything to worry about unless you feel both of the doc's hands on your back when the prodding begins.

 

[leadfarmer]

@leadfarmer,you don't have anything to worry about unless you feel both of the doc's hands on your back when the prodding begins.

I gots me boots on and my lid....just waitin

 

[Time's Standing Stihl]

I gots me boots on and my lid....just waitin

#flatpeckerftw

 

[USMC615]

#flatpeckerftw

When they told him NPO for the last 12 hrs...that meant his little blue pecker pills too!

 

[Czed]

So it starts with having Diarrhea for about two years and when it got bloody i finally told my doc and he sent me to a butt doctor who told me and i quote “ you might be the dumbest patient i have ever seen”. He scheduled me for an upper and lower GI check. The upper was first and involved drinking metallic apple juice and standing in a scanner that rotated me upside down and back. I still cant drink apple juice . Next up was the Super Colon Blow regimen to get my bowels all cleaned out nice and sparkly for the doc to look at. Then off to the lab where they gave me an enema in a box and sent me to the little bathroom to read the directions.
So next up, with a freshly washed, waxed and undercoated undercarriage I made my way back to my room in the paper gown of ass baring shame :0. They tell me I will be totally out of it and wont feel a thing and not to make any important decisions or sign any legal papers for at least 24 hours. They stick me on the guerney and roll me into the procedure room and ask me to roll on my side, where the enasthesiaologist sticks the little mask on me and tells me to count backwards from 100. I tried really hard to maintain my faculties but i made it to 89. I woke up as they are telling me that i need to sign the release for emergency surgery because they are taking me over to the hospital (adjacent to the lab facility) to operate on my ass literally. I was on good drugs when i woke up in my room at the hospital and the surgeon was telling my wife and i that everything went well and that they would test the polyp they removed to see if it was malignant or benign, He then said that the nurse would be in shortly to remove the packing from my hindregions. At some point i realize i have a catherter in my wangus and that’s a whole new experience. Well as time goes by I keep asking the nurses about removing the packing and they kind of act like I am still too loopy on pain meds to have any clue what is going on. They keep me overnight and the next morning the Surgeon checks on me and is pretty irritated that the nursing staff hadn’t removed my packing and says that at this point I will have to pass it naturally on my own before i can go home. Let that sink in ...I need to *s-word out about a half roll of paper towels that are cemented into my *a-hole by dried blood and swelling YAY.
It’s hard to tell which is more uncomfortable now the pressure of the catherter in my sheen or the packing in my rectum. I try like a soldier to Expel the packing for another 24 hours with no luck. In the meantime on my second night in the hospital there is a crazy electrical storm and the power goes out, no big deal the emergency power supply kicks on within a few seconds and the hospital has power in essential areas, no room lights, but monitors etc are fine. Well at some point the pain meds start wearing off and I get really uncomfortable. The wad of foreign material in my ass is starting to make my colon spasm about once every ten seconds and since all the lower region muscles are connected, it now feels like the catheter is stabbing the inside of my dick every 10 seconds too. I jabbed the meds button and the Call Nurse button like a four year old hitting buttons in an elevator. After a lifetime of penis-stabbing a young student nurse shows up and i tell her what is going on, she immediately leaves. She comes back with a real nurse and another assistant nurse and I tell them all I am dying. The nurse says she will need to call the doc to get orders to remove the catherter, I tell he I will remove it myself if they dont do it NOW. Now back in high school when i had fantasies about three hot nurses manipulating my junk, it was a lot sexier than this one telling me to exhale while she yanked the tube out. But it was immediate relief.
The following morning at 48 hours in the hospital the surgeon tells me to roll my IV stand down to the large walk in shower area and just stay in a hot shower till my body relaxed enough to poop. I pity the guy who had to clean up that room after i was done with it, but it worked.
Now when you in the Hospital for this kind of thing there is absolutely no modesty at all, every nurse who comes in for two days wants to look at your butthole for infection, swelling, etc and of course the whole catheter deal. You kind of get numb to it. So after getting the packing out they gave me solid food for the first time and i was able to have a bowel movement so they scheduled me for release. The discharge nurse came in and told me to roll over so she could spread my cheeks with another nurse and give my puckered starfish one more looksie. She asked me what doctor had done my surgery and i told he his name. She replied with “ he did a good job, you could still model”, and slapped my ass.
The next day i went back to work on some light pain meds (no driving) and at the shop and office the guys had inflated a wheelbarrow intertube and placed it on every chair in both buildings.
Last week my family doctor told me that since I am turning 50 this year and have a prior polyp on my record I will need another Colonoscopy this year, I am hoping it is a lot less eventful.

I read the whole novel
Can i have a t-shirt.

 

[Czed]

 

[farmer steve]

I read the whole novel
Can i have a t-shirt.

I don't know if I'd ask for a t-shirt Dave. Never know what he might have needed it for.

 

[Czed]

And at the follow up appointments the doc always leaves lube all over your ass

Dentist?

 

[usmcbuckwild]

I had 6 colonoscopy in 2 years. I know the discomfort and pure humiliating ass-pain. You have to have some fun with it!!

Quietly eat a bowl of ramen noodles when you are about 2/3 of the way through the jug of colon cleanse. Then, when you poop out the ramen as still completely whole noodles, act like you are panicked and call the wife/kids/parents into the bathroom and show them, asking “are those worms?????”

Do a colon cleanse challenge with your spouse or friends. Most people don’t believe when you tell them you *s-word clear water.

Swallow a couple gummy worms or gummy bears whole. Wait for surprise.

Eat a bunch of jelly beans. Wait for surprise.

 

[usmcbuckwild]

So i am batting 1.000 with these doctors at the VA!! My chiro/acupuncture doc:






I get to see her once a week.

 

[Czed]

My friend joe was having terrible chest
Pains
He was certain he was having a heart attack.
He went to the hospital here.
Filled out paperwork and sat for 4 hour's
They finally took him.
To a room and asked if ge needed help
Getting his pants off.
He said what the *f-word are you talking about
And the nurse showed him
The chart
It was for a different patient and it was for
An enema
Ge said *f-word this and went to another hospital.
Luckily he didn't have a heart attack or he may not have made it.

 

[leadfarmer]

I'm on the way for grub...he found 7 canolps it think but they weren't cancerous. Hey chopped them off a said I'm good 4 another 5 yrs..

 

[usmcbuckwild]

My friend joe was having terrible chest
Pains
He was certain he was having a heart attack.
He went to the hospital here.
Filled out paperwork and sat for 4 hour's
They finally took him.
To a room and asked if ge needed help
Getting his pants off.
He said what the *f-word are you talking about
And the nurse showed him
The chart
It was for a different patient and it was for
An enema
Ge said *f-word this and went to another hospital.
Luckily he didn't have a heart attack or he may not have made it.

Must have been a VA hospital