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my family busts my balls

Definitive Dave

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yesterday whilst packaging in the garage with my son, I started to pick up a stack of boxes and he called out "remember to lift with your groin"

this morning my wife let me know there was a shipment of bubble mailers arriving and I told her I had a couple of saws arriving from Tennessee, to which she replied " oh yeah I logged onto our fed ex account yesterday and declined all chainsaw shipments"

I feel so loved :)
Dave
 

Definitive Dave

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Scene: garage 12:06 pm, Dave is working on packing as Chris enters

Dave: you're late
Chris: I don't give a sh1t
Dave: your words say you don't give a sh1t but your tone says you are deeply troubled
Chris: you cannot comprehend the depths of my non-sh1t giving
Dave: oh ye of little faith, I have been not giving a sh1t since long before you were born, I am what you would call an expert
Chris: you must bow down and pay homage to my not give a sh1t
Dave: 99.997% of all people bow down and revere my not give a sh1t as a god
Chris: those are pretty good numbers....for an amateur
Dave: for each sh1t you don't give I will not give two sh1ts
Chris: and in doing so you prove my point and your own failure

entirely off the cuff, he shamed me, I am so proud....I think
 
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bikemike

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yesterday whilst packaging in the garage with my son, I started to pick up a stack of boxes and he called out "remember to lift with your groin"

this morning my wife let me know there was a shipment of bubble mailers arriving and I told her I had a couple of saws arriving from Tennessee, to which she replied " oh yeah I logged onto our fed ex account yesterday and declined all chainsaw shipments"

I feel so loved :)
Dave
Ouch. I think your gunna have to hold out on her and tell her to use the shower head
 
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