Tell me a joke.....

[Motorhead]

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says no crack and it reminds you to pull up your pants.

 

[Wolverine]

 

[Deets066]

Good one!

 

[Wolverine]

https://scontent.slackerc1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/17424673_1735396049809142_4711354623817305876_n.jpg?oh=2371d6df4eac6cda940d9790acaaea6f&oe=59934DF6

 

[stihl here]

My uncle caught me out behind the barn spankin my monkey and said, "boy, you had better save that stuff until you're married".

Well, I took his advice, and had nearly a gallon.

 

[TreeLife]

My tax return for this past year...that's a huge joke

 

[Motorhead]

I wonder what dirty talk looks like in sign language

 

[Wolverine]

Crack kills.

 

[Stihlsmoking]

Crack kills.

That is a lot of crack.

 

[maulhead]

What do you have when you put 50 lesbians, and 50 government workers, in a room?

 

[Stihlsmoking]

100 b*#tches that don't do di€k.

Edit ( I cheated )

 

[maulhead]

Prettt much....100 people that don't do dick.

 

[maulhead]

100 b*#tches that don't do di€k.

Edit ( I cheated )

Cheated? Google?

 

[Stihlsmoking]

Cheated? Google?

Whatever my iPhone safari is ? Couldn't wait. Lol

 

[Jwalker1911]

I went out for a little walking around today in the mountains and came across a good looking women about 24 yrs. old
standing on the edge of a cliff trying to work up enough nerve to jump. After a couple of minutes watching her I said,
"Being that you are going to jump do you think we could have sex first?"
She said ,"Get away from me you old perverted creep!"
I turned and started to walk away then turned back to her and said," Fine, I'll just wait for you at the bottom."

 

[Deets066]

I went out for a little walking around today in the mountains and came across a good looking women about 24 yrs. old
standing on the edge of a cliff trying to work up enough nerve to jump. After a couple of minutes watching her I said,
"Being that you are going to jump do you think we could have sex first?"
She said ,"Get away from me you old perverted creep!"
I turned and started to walk away then turned back to her and said," Fine, I'll just wait for you at the bottom."

 

[Motorhead]

What does a mechanic and a lesbian have in common,...............Snap on tools

 

[Jwalker1911]

What does a mechanic and a lesbian have in common,...............Snap on tools

No Cornwell?

 

[Jwalker1911]

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc.... After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant.
The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant.
The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the pigs. So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each pig twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the pigs and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the pigs. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are laying in the mud.
‘No,’ she says, ‘they're all in the truck and one of them's honking the horn

 

[huskihl]

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc.... After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant.
The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant.
The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the pigs. So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each pig twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the pigs and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the pigs. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are laying in the mud.
‘No,’ she says, ‘they're all in the truck and one of them's honking the horn