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Brush Ape

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Local time
5:38 AM
User ID
459
Joined
Jan 9, 2016
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Location
Metropolis, Il
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I loved my Dad and he loved me. But our individual definitions of love was different. Mine was based on being faithful and obedient. His was based on administering pain. So at around 25 YO and Dad being my age today he decides to pound a 12 of Pabst and smack me across the yard like a girl. I was clearly not a girl and put the pinch on him with a left uppercut. Nobody knew I was a lefty until that day. Tried twice at four to demonstrate when I threw rocks in the river at the squirrel hunt; Jiggs said 'Boy's we got a southpaw'. Every one else was passed out and Jiggs taught me to throw right. But Dad smacks me and I delivered a blow and in the mix he got his leg broke. In those days there weren't common cell phones. I hoofed it over to a neighbor and made a call for help for him as he said he was gonna shoot me. Well nobody came and I went back to help. Dad was smoking a cig and acted as if his leg wasn't snapped. Mom and my Uncle came and took him off to the hospital.

So I was off the farm. I bought a house in town.

I play guitar. Something about the way the electronic are wound wiill make your guitar act like a receiver and transmit some short wave radio through the amp. Here's how I know.

Jammin' Over the Mountain off Blizzard of Oz. I'm learning it. Jamming it. and Honey Bee comes through on her CB broadcast calling in truckers for a little fun. I recognized her voice. My neighbor across the highway. Then comes a JakeBrake and a trucker backing in her drive. So if you're familiar with CB handles, you'll put 2 and 2 together and get hoe. No prob Bob she was a real nice lady. Although at 25 I thought a 30 something gal was old but now she'd be a kid to me.

Honey Bee lived across the hard road down a lane from my new place. She had more invested in her CB setup than in her '88 Escort. She was literally reelin' them in from 48 states and apparently well-known.

One day the landlord comes in copy? Come on back says Bee. He was the mayor from an adjacent river town and coincidentally one of my buddies' Dad. "How 'bout I come on by and co-llect some rent Honey Bee." he goes. Haha. His Handle was, "Sweet Potato." (Sumbitch is redheaded as the day is long but mostly bald.) He was at a truck stop and she invited him over. Sweet Po rolls in for an hour or so and parks below a cherry tree in full bloom in May. Haha. This is where it gets good. After he co-llects his rent He Whips out HoneyBee's drive with them blossoms blowing off his car!! I was mowing my lane and almost went in the ditch laughing.

So I see Sweet Po at the lumber yard about two days later with his wife, (My friends MILFY Blonde Mother and no slouch mind you.) And I say, "Hey Sweet Potata Longtimenosee." lol

Are your neighbors funny?
 
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