Follow these instructions carefully and you too could own a Silvey Pro Sharp, it's really pretty easy
1.) Take a call from a good buddy, Shawn who tells you that another good buddy of his (#2) heard from another friend (#3) in another country that another guy (the Stranger) has a Silvey Pro Sharp he wants to sell.
2.) Wait on pins and needles for contact info for the alleged foreign stranger with the grinder, hoping nobody else snatches it up before you can make a deal.
3.) Get another call with the name and number of a total stranger in Canada along with a very attractive price of $1400.00. Also friends #3 and possibly #2 are willing to help with logistics.
4.) Try to call the Stranger in Canada only to find that my all-inclusive cell phone plan doesn’t automatically make calls out of the country.
5.) Two hours of tech support and $5 a month later, finally make the call to Stranger.
6.) Talk for several hours to the Stranger who does indeed want to sell a Silvie Pro Sharp that only he has ever used. He only wants $1400.00 Canadian plus shipping.
7.) Offer to send the money immediately including whatever amount he wants for shipping by Paypal.
8.) Be disappointed that he doesn’t trust Paypal and only uses it to buy Vintage Guitars on Ebay but not to accept payments of any kind. Also he doesn’t want to be paid until he figures out shipping.
9.) Agree to wait for the Stranger to call back.
10.)Continue waiting
11.)And wait
12.)For
13.)Days
14.)Get impatient and call the Stranger back
15.)Listen to him crush your dreams by saying there is only one post office nearby and they want $550.00 to ship the grinder to me plus packaging, and he doesn’t have a box, or know how to package it, or really want to package it and he is in such a remote town there are no other couriers and no packaging companies.
16.)Discuss having friend #3 who is friends with the Stranger and lives in the same small town, pick up the grinder and make the trip south across the border to meet friend #2 at some point in the future to then ship the grinder.
17.)Wait to hear from the Stranger
18.)And
19.)Wait
20.)Call back again hoping not to piss him off, he sounds annoyed to hear from me at this point. Turns out friend #3 isnt really willing to play pass the potato at all and in fact he doesn’t have a valid driver’s license so he couldn’t drive the grinder down to the USA at all. He adamantly will not ship the grinder.
21.)Tell the Stranger you will pay for the grinder and make arrangements to get it picked up somehow by somebody.
22.)Listen to the Stranger tell you he would like paid by a direct bank transfer.
23.)Agree to do this, since your wife works at a bank and you already pay vendors in foreign countries all the time.
24.)Ask your wife to send him money electronically.
25.)Throw out feelers to OPE and AS members who might be in Canada and close to the Stranger geographically.
26.)Find out that to do a direct wire transfer to Canada is a separate process that takes a week to set up for our account on this end.
27.)Notify the Stranger of the delay, he sounds even more annoyed but says he can wait.
28.)Wait 4 days
29.)Notify the Stranger of the bank details from his account we need to make the transfer directly from our freshly modified account.
30.)Listen in horror as he says “no way” can I have his bank account number, he is afraid I can rob him of his life savings by having the account number. Tell him I will buy a postal money order and mail it to him instead the next day, which he agrees to.
31.)Check post office website for info on mailing a money order out of the country and find out it will have to be an International Money Order but that I can send it International Priority Express for $50.00US and it will get to him in 2 days.
32.)Head to post office as directed by the USPS.gov website only to find that there are only 2 actual post offices in the city that have any international money orders.
33.)Head to another post office and buy two International Money Orders in US Dollars because that is the only currency they are sold in and they are for a maximum of $700.00 each.
34.)Do the volumes of paperwork for the money orders and the international express priority mail.
35.)Call the Stranger to let him know the money should be in his hand in 2 days and he can cash them at any post office or bank.
36.)Wait 2 days – tracking shows the envelope is still in Canadian customs.
37.)Call post office and they say tough titties Dave, its not our fault Canada is so slow, no refund for you on that guaranteed $50 shipping.
38.)Call the Stranger to tell him and he sounds like he figures I am a damn flake by now. He agrees to call when he gets the Money Orders.
39.)Wait 2 MORE days.
40.)Answer call from the Stranger who says he got the Money Orders and took them to his bank to deposit because he thought his post office would be too small to have enough cash on hand.
41.)Hear that his bank says they may take up to 30 days to clear his account and because of the delay in delivery the exchange rate has slipped enough that instead of being about $26.00 Canadian overpaid he is instead now short about $50.00 Canadian.
42.)Bang head against wall
43.)Hear from a savior in this crazy process, Pete, RocketNorton. He is an hour away from the Stranger and is willing to fetch the grinder and package and ship it to me.
44.)Thank Pete profusely and send a little paypal to cover the extra money the Stranger expects and a little gas money.
45.)Send Pete and the Stranger each other’s contact details so they can arrange the pickup.
46.)Take call from Pete who says the Stranger now insists on waiting the month for the money orders to clear his bank before he relinquishes the grinder.
47.)Bang head against wall….
48.)FOR
49.)A
50.)MONTH
51.)Get a call from Pete that he has arranged the pickup !!!
52.)Get an email from Pete that he has paid the Stranger the extra $50 and has the grinder in his possession!!!!!!
53.)Feel total relief and then that Christmas eve anxiousness to have the holy grail of grinders in my hands.
54.)Get a shipping and packing quote from Pete and send paypal to cover it.
55.)Wait a week or so
56.)Sign for a giant heavy box and wonder who shipped me a chainsaw
57.)Open box and it is blue Styrofoam and inside… a PRO SHARP!!!
58.)Head off to GTG in Tennesee
59.)After the GTG, Shawn comes over and we unpack the grinder, only then do we realize how much of a Shipping Ninja Pete is. Nothing in the box can move at all, there is carved hard foam holding everything motionless in all directions. The lightbulb is still in the grinder and it survived the ride from Canada unbroken. There is a wooden baseboard in the bottom of the box with a cavity carved in it to fit the bottom of the grinder. The grinder is actually bolted to a large foam board in the outer box. Simply amazing!!!
60.)Send the grinder home with Shawn.
61.)Let Pete know he is a total Badass.
62.)After a day of setup, adjustments, cleaning lubing and tweaking, Shawn sends me video of a tooth taking shape and tells me how precise and fast it is.
63.)Breathe a big sigh of relief.
See ?? Simple !!
Dave
