Tell me a joke.....

[wildroamer]

You spelled sexy wrong.

 

[Husqy lover]

 

[weedkilla]

Almost had a threesome last night.

I was only two people short.

 

[wildroamer]

Good one, weed, not many funny jokes that offend nobody! I guess yours was offensive to lonely people maybe?

 

[wildroamer]

OK, here's one I just made up on the spot. I hope you like it. I'll be here all week!

What's the difference between stink and stank?

About 2 inches!

Thank you and goodnight!

 

[olyman]

Ha-ha, probably 85% of my arsenal of jokes remains locked in the vault as they are offensive to races, genders, religions, slackers, etc. Oops, that was offensive right there, wasn't it?

what about leftists????

 

[weedkilla]

what about leftists????

They should swap hands at 99

 

[wildroamer]

what about leftists????

Them too! In fact, as a Vermonter, I proudly giving you the biggest leftist joke EVER! Heeeeere's Bernie! Feel the Bern!

 

[Wagnerwerks]

Alright boys... Back on topic...

Before going in for surgery I thought it would be funny if I posted a note on myself telling the surgeon to be careful. After the surgery I found another note on myself .”Anyone know where my cell phone is????????”

 

[Wagnerwerks]

A man died and went to The Judgment, they told him , “Before you meet with God, I should tell you — we’ve looked over your life, and to be honest you really didn’t do anything particularly good or bad. We’re not really sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?”

The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, “Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a person who was being harassed by a group of thugs. So I pulled over, got out a bat, and went up to the leader of the thugs. He was a big, muscular guy with a ring pierced through his lip. Well, I tore the ring out of his lip, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering this guy or they would have to deal with me!”

“Wow that’s impressive, “When did this happen?”

“About three minutes ago,” came the reply

 

[olympyk_999]

what about leftists????

OLYMAN! I didn't know you were here...what's up buddy?

 

[Mastermind]

 

[Frank bierce]

People used to laught at me when I said,"I want to be a comedian." Well, no one is laughing now :/

 

[olympyk_999]

View attachment 5749

 

[Frank bierce]

Ohhhh, how things used to be...pretty funny now!!

 

[Mastermind]

My wife would cut me with my own knife........

 

[Wagnerwerks]

My wife will let me know where my place is when she's good and ready.

 

[Frank bierce]

My wife would cut me with my own knife........

This is the way it is now...

 

[Brian Simonseth]

What do they call a Cow masturbating ?

Beef Stroganoff

 

[Wagnerwerks]

I don't know if this ones on here, but it needs to be.



One day Oly Svenson walks into the local hardware store says to the clerk "I heard yall have a saw that can cut 6 trees per hour."

The clerk takes him to the best chainsaw thay have in the store. so Oly buys it.

The next day Oly comes back with the chainsaw. He says to the clerk "This thangs a fraud I only cut down one tree and it took me all day."

So the clerk takes it from him and starts it up.

Oly jumps back and says, "what's that noise?!"