Tell me a joke.....

[jake wells]

there is a fact in this joke.

 

[wildroamer]

Not exactly roll around on the floor funny, but I guess I giggled. A little, maybe.

 

[wildroamer]

OK, gotta ask, where is the "joke" in that joke? Inside joke? I agree with the sentiment on morons with dogs. You think that's scary, most of them seem to have kids, too! Yikes...

 

[redoakneck]

Two dudes are hanging out on a Friday night. A male dog is nearby, and starts to lick his balls and penis. This goes on for 5 minutes, while the dudes are bored watching. One guy says " Man, I wish I could do that!!! ".

The other guy hesitated, then says " You better pet him first!!!

 

[ft. churchill]

Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? To keep his ankles warm.

 

[ft. churchill]

What do you get when you cross a failed lawyer and a crooked politician? Chelsea Clinton.

 

[Milkman31]

Little Johny was home one summer day playing around on the farm with his new red rider b b gun. His mother calls for him to come have some ice cream. While eating his ice cream he managed to spill some bbs in his bowl. Not wanting to throw out the ice cream he just eats it. Later on while playing he needs to pee and to his surprise he pees a b.b. He runs to his mom and says mom, mom, mom, what little Johny? Mom I just peed a b.b. Mom said good now go play. So he goes back to play and needs to pee again and pees another b.b . He runs back to mom and said mom,mom, guess what? Mom ask what little Johny? Mom I peed a b.b again. Mom said well that's good now go play. He goes out and shortly comes in mom,mom,mom guess what. Mom says you peed a b.b. Little Johny said nope I was out behind the barn jacking off and shot the dog!!!!

 

[wildroamer]

That's Noyce!

 

[ft. churchill]

Lil' johnny always does the damnest things.

 

[wildroamer]

I know, right?!?! That lil' fugger gets into all kinds o' mischief!

 

[ft. churchill]

So one night lil' Johnny walked down the hall to go to the bathroom. As he goes by Mom and Dad's room he sees Dad shagging his Mom. He finishes up his bathroon business and goes back to bed.
The next morning at the breakfast table Dad asks lil' Johnny if he saw anything last night. "No Dad", I didn't see anything said lil' Johnny.
The next night Dad had to pee and as he went by Grandma's room he see lil' Johnny shagging Grandma.
The next morning at the breakfast table, Dad asks lil' Johnny what he was doing in Grandma's room last night.
Lil' Johnny blurts out "Oh I see! It's different when it's your Mom."

 

[P.M.P.]

 

[Greenthorn]

One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex. The mother is going up and down on the father and when she sees her daughter looking at them she immediately stops. “What are you doing, Mommy?” The mother too embarassed to tell her little girl about sex so she makes up an answer. “Well, sweetie, sometimes daddy’s tummy gets too big so I have to jump up and down on it to flatten it out.” The little girl replies, “Well, mommy you really shouldn’t bother with that.” The mother has a confused look on her face, “Why do you say that sweetheart?” The little girl replies, “Because mommy, everytime you leave in the morning, the lady next door comes over and blows it back up.”

 

[P.M.P.]

 

[ft. churchill]

What do ya call a bouncer at a gay bar? A flamethrower.

 

[Deets066]

Little Johnny was sittin outside on the curb playing. His mother came to the kitchen window to see what he was doin, she was very confused after watching him. First he would eat a few skittles, then he would pick up the cat and lick it's butt, then he would move down the curb a little ways and do it all again. Johnnys mother walked outside and asked him "what on earth are you doing Johnny!?" I'm practicing to be a truck driver mom! Popping pills, eatin pu$$y, and movin on down the road!

 

[Frank bierce]

Little Johnny was sittin outside on the curb playing. His mother came to the kitchen window to see what he was doin, she was very confused after watching him. First he would eat a few skittles, then he would pick up the cat and lick it's butt, then he would move down the curb a little ways and do it all again. Johnnys mother walked outside and asked him "what on earth are you doing Johnny!?" I'm practicing to be a truck driver mom! Popping pills, eatin pu$$y, and movin on down the road!

A focused young feller!!

 

[olympyk_999]

Racism wouldn't be so offensive if everyone just lighten up a bit

 

[wildroamer]

Ha-ha, probably 85% of my arsenal of jokes remains locked in the vault as they are offensive to races, genders, religions, slackers, etc. Oops, that was offensive right there, wasn't it?

 

[olympyk_999]