Tell me a joke.....

[Wood Doctor]

John walks into the doctor's office and says, "Ddddoc, I've bbeen stttuttering ffor yyyears, and IIII'm tttired of it. Cccan yyyou hehehelp me?"

The doc says, "Well, I'll have to examine you to see what's going on."

So he examines him, and says, "Well I think I know what the problem is."

John asks, "Wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc?"

Doc says, "Well, it's your penis, it's about a foot long and all the down pressure is putting strain on your vocal cords."

John says, "Wwwat cccan we ddo?"

Doc says, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one."

John says, "Dddo it!"

John has the operation and three weeks later, he comes back into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, you solved the problem and I don't stutter anymore, but I've only had sex once in the past three weeks. My wife doesn't like it anymore. She liked it with my long one. I don't care if I have to stutter, I want you to put my long one back on."

The doc says, "Nnnnope. A ddddeal's a ddddeal!!!"

 

[USMC615]

John walks into the doctor's office and says, "Ddddoc, I've bbeen stttuttering ffor yyyears, and IIII'm tttired of it. Cccan yyyou hehehelp me?"

The doc says, "Well, I'll have to examine you to see what's going on."

So he examines him, and says, "Well I think I know what the problem is."

John asks, "Wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc?"

Doc says, "Well, it's your penis, it's about a foot long and all the down pressure is putting strain on your vocal cords."

John says, "Wwwat cccan we ddo?"

Doc says, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one."

John says, "Dddo it!"

John has the operation and three weeks later, he comes back into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, you solved the problem and I don't stutter anymore, but I've only had sex once in the past three weeks. My wife doesn't like it anymore. She liked it with my long one. I don't care if I have to stutter, I want you to put my long one back on."

The doc says, "Nnnnope. A ddddeal's a ddddeal!!!"

Lol...good one!

 

[ajschainsaws]

Mother in law says too her sons wife after having there baby
I don’t mean too be rude but he doesn’t look anything like my son

The daughter in law lifted her skirt and said I don’t mean too be rude either
But this is a V##### Not a F###### photocopier

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[Wood Doctor]

View attachment 123313

I remember about three years ago I dropped a truckload of waste rounds and scraps at a huge fire pit for a Labor Day party. The band played on, everybody danced and sang, and the bonfire made by the scraps was truly marvelous. At least I thought it was.

A lady city slicker, drunk as a skunk, walked up to me and said, "Seems like a waste of energy to me. Cool it next time."

As Dad often told me, "Sometimes you can't win for losing."

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[angelo c]

Virus-free. www.avast.com

 

[paragonbuilder]

Virus-free. www.avast.com

Awesome

 

[Deets066]

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[Frank bierce]

Don’t know why...but this one cracked me up...

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[Catman]

 

[Wood Doctor]

Then there was the Chinese prostitute that couldn't think of a name for her first baby. Her pimp suggested, "What Went Wong?"

 

[Mastermind]

Tyrone was having trouble in school. His teacher was always yelling at him, "You're driving me crazy, Tyrone! Can't you learn anything?”


One day Tyrone's mother came to school to see how he was doing. The teacher told her honestly that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and that she had never had such an unmotivated and ignorant boy in her entire teaching career.


Tyrone's mom, shocked at the feedback, withdrew her son from school and moved out of Detroit, relocating to Cleveland.


25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with irreversible cardiac disease. Her doctors all strongly advised
her to have open heart surgery, which only one surgeon at the Cleveland Clinic could perform.


Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was remarkably successful.

When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw the handsome young doctor who headed her surgical team smiling down at her. She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something, but quickly died.


The doctor was shocked, wondering what went wrong so suddenly. When the doctor turned around to leave the room, he saw Tyrone, now a janitor at the Clinic, had unplugged the life-support equipment in order to plug in his vacuum cleaner.


If you thought that Tyrone had become a heart-surgeon, there is a high likelihood that you voted for Hillary Clinton.

That is sorta funny....but more than a little bit political.

Come on.....we ain't gotta do that here do we?