OK, since we were talking about dumb things we have done, i can contribute!
One of my dumb friends built a pipe bomb and blew up a phone booth, then walked directly home ... in the snow! Yea, he got busted!
My dumb idea was putting chlorine tablets from the pool in one of our smoke bombs. Hissed like a jet engine, and shot bright orange flame 20' into the air. Also burned a hole in the street. We decided not to do that any more!
Oh, and I enjoy all the porting #s being discussed, I'm learning, I'm learning! But I see very little about the high & width of ports being discussed, and the impact they have on performance (other than large upper transfers sometimes hurting performance). Is more width just generally desirable, and height just not as important as the timing?