Tell me a joke.....

[Motorhead]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Wood Doctor]

My teenage son came home and said, "Dad, I have a new girlfriend! -- Kerry."

"Oh yeah? What brought this on?" I asked.

He replied, "Well, she likes to talk a lot. The last time she kept talking and talking, I told her that if she kept blabbing away I would reach under her blouse, remove her bra, and let my hands roam all over the place."

"Well, that should have silenced her," I responded.

"Nope. It didn't do a thing. Kerry just kept on talking and talking. So, now she's my new girl friend."

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Philbert]

Philbert

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Wood Doctor]

Edwin's unabashed finance dictionary:

CEO—chief embezzlement officer.
CFO—corporate fraud officer.
BULL MARKET—A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET—A 6- to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING—The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO—The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER—What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR—Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST—Idiot who just downgraded your stock after it doubled.
STOCK SPLIT—When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER—A guy whose phone has been disconnected. Also known as a guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper.
MARKET CORRECTION—The day after you buy a ton of stocks.
CASH FLOW—The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
WINDOWS 10—What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought BitCoin @ $18,600 a share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR—Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT— an archaic word no longer in use.

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[rocketnorton]

some come to take a chit.












i came to leave one.

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Dub11]

So a man comes home to find his wife packing her bags. He asks what shes doing and she say I'm going to New York! Call girls there can make $400 for what I give you for free. So the husband starts packing his bag too. She asks what are you doing. He replied I'm going with you to see how you'll survive on $800 a year.

 

[Motorhead]