Tell me a joke.....

[Motorhead]

 

[merc_man]

View attachment 158126

Shi t thats hillarious.

Sent from my SM-G950W using Tapatalk

 

[Wood Doctor]

I know that Motorhead really does like this song by George Strait, especially if he saw the gal I danced with last week. As Conway said, "She had tight-fittin' jeans." Lord have mercy.

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Wood Doctor]

WORDS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

WORDS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

WORDS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I’m married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. I’m not interested in fighting you.
6. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance. I have no coordination and would hate to look like a real Fool!
7. Oh no, I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning!

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Wood Doctor]

View attachment 158289

Would you want to buy and eat that cooked chicken after someone else slobbered all over it?

Well, maybe so if this gal was the one who sampled it:

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[Derf]

 

[Derf]

http://www.demotivation.us/media/demotivators/demotivation.us_NO-MATTER-HOW-GOOD-SHE-LOOKS-Someone-somewhere-is-tired-of-her-*s-word_13610521833.jpg

 

[Wood Doctor]

My last firewood customer told me this riddle as I accepted her payment for a full truckload of hardwood, split, delivered and stacked:

She asked, "Edwin, how does a woman like me scare away a bumble bee buzzing around her head when she is trying to work in her flower garden?"

I thought for awhile and gave up. Then I said, "Shelley, that's a tough one. How would you do that?"

She replied, "Very simple. I let it land on my chest, and then I yell, Boo Bee!"

 

[Deets066]

My last firewood customer told me this riddle as I accepted her payment for a full truckload of hardwood, split, delivered and stacked:

She asked, "Edwin, how does a woman like me scare away a bumble bee buzzing around her head when she is trying to work in her flower garden?"

I thought for awhile and gave up. Then I said, "Shelley, that's a tough one. How would you do that?"

She replied, "Very simple. I let it land on my chest, and then I yell, Boo Bee!"

 

[Dub11]

My last firewood customer told me this riddle as I accepted her payment for a full truckload of hardwood, split, delivered and stacked:

She asked, "Edwin, how does a woman like me scare away a bumble bee buzzing around her head when she is trying to work in her flower garden?"

I thought for awhile and gave up. Then I said, "Shelley, that's a tough one. How would you do that?"

She replied, "Very simple. I let it land on my chest, and then I yell, Boo Bee!"

Pics of Shelley

 

[Derf]

 

[Dub11]

Is she the ambassador to the land of milk and honey?

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Wood Doctor]

Pics of Shelley

Well, she kind of reminds me of Derf's avatar. On the other hand, I recall this gal when I was shopping for my Makita 6401:

There is a slight resemblance.