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Tell me a joke.....

weedkilla

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So a bear walks into a bar.

"Gimme a beer"

The barman calmly replies "We don't serve beer to bears in this bar"

The bear growls and says "Gimme a fuggin beer"

Again calmly the barman replies "We don't serve beer to bears that swear in this bar"

Now quite angry the bear growls, turns to the woman on the barstool beside him and eats her. "Gimme a beer!!!"

Never losing his cool the barman replies "We don't serve beer to bears on drugs in this bar"

Taken aback, the bear asks in a shocked tone "Whaddya mean, I'm not on drugs?"

"Well, that was a barbitchyouate"
 

Milkman31

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A teacher ask the class who signed the Declaration of Independence? No one answers so she calls on little Johnny. Little Johnny who signed the Declaration of Independence? Little Johnny replied, I don't know and I don't give a damn! The teachers replies I'll give you one more try to answer it correctly! Who signed the Declaration of Independence? Little Johnny answers, I don't know and I don't give a damn! The teacher takes him to the office and calls his father in. The father gets there ask what the problem is? The teacher sayes watch how he answers my question. Little Johnny who signed the Declaration of Independence? I don't know and don't give a damn! said little Johnny! Little johnnys dad jumps up slaps him in the back of the head and said BOY IF YOU SIGNED THAT DAMN THING YOU BEST TELL HER!!!!
 

Wagnerwerks

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Joe was a successful lawyer, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his career and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across an old country doctor who solved the problem. "The good news is I can cure your headaches... the bad news is that it will require castration." You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He woundered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "that's what I need .. a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 42 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in business 60 years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "how about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said "sure..." The salesman eyed Joe and said "let's see...34 sleeves and...16 and a half neck." Joe was suprised, "that's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years" Joe tried one the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked "how about some new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said "sure!" The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said "Let's see... 10-1/2...E." Joe said astonished, "that's right, how did you know?" "Been in business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked "how about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "sure!" The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said "Let's see... size 36." Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old." "The salesman shook his head, "you can't wear a size 34, it will press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you a hell of a headache".
Oh my word... That's the joke I tell everyone as my favorite joke. How freakin funny is it that you listed it first!
 
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