Tell me a joke.....

[jakethesnake]

I posted in jest....I guess my dry humor fell jest as flat as the breast of the first gal I asked to see her chest.

Do you want to hear the one about the co ck and the cornpicker?

Did she show em?

 

[Bill G]

Did she show em?

Nope.
I did show her my sausage though.
She laughed and said "That is a lil smokie, I like a summer sausage"
Fun times late nights in the corn fields.
I see her a Facebook a lot and she is never married and never had kids.
Still cute and maybe 110lbs wet but just keeps looking for the perfect man.

 

[Philbert]

Philbert

 

[Mack 880]

That's even more reason to be afraid of AI. It's very "confident", even when wrong.

And when it's controlling the weapons, who cares if YOU are right or wrong. AI won't!!

 

[Mack 880]

Eminem walks into a bar and tells the bartender, “Give me two shots of…”

The bartender cuts him off saying,”You only get one shot.”

 

[Mack 880]

​

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first mathematician orders a beer

The second orders half a beer

"I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies

"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2

"What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous."

"Oh c'mon" says mathematician #1 "do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along"

"There are very strict laws on how I can serve drinks. I couldn't serve you half a beer even if I wanted to."

"But that's not a problem" mathematician #3 chimes in "at the end of the joke you serve us a whole number of beers. You see, when you take the sum of a continuously halving function-"

"I know how limits work" interjects the bartender

"Oh, alright then. I didn't want to assume a bartender would be familiar with such advanced mathematics" says mathematician #3.

"Are you kidding me?" The bartender replies, "you learn limits in like, 9th grade! What kind of mathematician thinks limits are advanced mathematics?"

"HE'S ON TO US" mathematician #1 screeches

Simultaneously, every mathematician opens their mouth and out pours a cloud of multicolored mosquitoes. Each mathematician is bellowing insects of a different shade. The mosquitoes form into a singular, polychromatic swarm. "FOOLS" it booms in unison, "I WILL INFECT EVERY BEING ON THIS PATHETIC PLANET WITH MALARIA"

The bartender stands fearless against the technicolor hoard. "But wait" he inturrupts, thinking fast, "if you do that, politicians will use the catastrophe as an excuse to implement free healthcare. Think of how much that will hurt the taxpayers!"

The mosquitoes fall silent for a brief moment. "My God, you're right. We didn't think about the economy! Very well, we will not attack this dimension. FOR THE TAXPAYERS!" and with that, they vanish.

A nearby barfly stumbles over to the bartender. "How did you know that that would work?"

"It's simple really" the bartender says. "I saw that the vectors formed a gradient, and therefore must be conservative."

 

[Philbert]

Philbert