Wood Doctor
Edwin
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Tell me a joke.....
- Thread starter Mastermind
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Philbert
Chainsaw Enthusiast
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Philbert
fossil
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Wood Doctor
Edwin
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Philbert
Chainsaw Enthusiast
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Philbert
Philbert
Chainsaw Enthusiast
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Philbert
fossil
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I've done that many times.
fossil
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Woodslasher
Teh debil
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A women is out golfing and finds a frog trapped in the woods...
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, ‟If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.”
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, ‟Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!”
The woman said, ‟That's okay.”
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned
her, ‟You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to”.
The woman replied, ‟That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.”
So, KAZAM-she is the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, ‟That'll make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.”
The woman said, ‟That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine.”
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, ‟I'd like a mild heart attack.”
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
Note: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen.
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, ‟If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.”
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, ‟Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!”
The woman said, ‟That's okay.”
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned
The woman replied, ‟That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.”
So, KAZAM-she is the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, ‟That'll make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.”
The woman said, ‟That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine.”
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, ‟I'd like a mild heart attack.”
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
Note: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen.
Woodslasher
Teh debil
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I have learned that if you upset your wife, she nags you, but if you upset her even more, you get the silent treatment.
Does anyone else think it's worth the extra effort?
Does anyone else think it's worth the extra effort?
Woodslasher
Teh debil
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Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor went to check on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes" she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!"
The pastor fainted.
One afternoon the pastor went to check on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes" she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!"
The pastor fainted.
