My wife is cooler than yours

[Sagebrush33]

What kinda oil does your coffee taste like, dear?

 

[ElevatorGuy]

I might have ya beat, my wife ordered my 462 for me lol.

 

[Dieselshawn]

I’m almost 40 and I have no wife

 

[Sagebrush33]

I’m almost 40 and I have no wife

Not a bad thing to not be married.
Some have lifetime significant others.

 

[ElevatorGuy]

Right, You’re probably getting more booty than any of us married folk.

 

[bigbadbob]

Right, You’re probably getting more booty than any of us married folk.

Whats this Booty you speak of ?? LOL
41 yrs wed

 

[huskihl]

The only piece of ass us married folk get is when our finger pokes through the toilet paper.

 

[jacob j.]

I’m almost 40 and I have no wife

Don't sweat it- I'm an old bachelor (divorced) myself. Sometimes I get lonely but then I remember the last two years of my marriage which were absolutely unhappy.

My grandma never remarried after leaving my grandpa and she never regretted it. She said "you're better off finding your own happiness rather than trying to make a perpetually
miserable person less miserable."

The only piece of ass us married folk get is when your finger pokes through the toilet paper.

lol...

 

[USMC615]

Some survive quite well with FWB’s…amazing the gratification and peace as they’re backing out the driveway.

 

[srb08]

Hanging on the wall @ the school. View attachment 306991

I'd hire a person with those ten attributes and average intelligence, over a genius who possessed few or none of them.

 

[ElevatorGuy]

My cousin told me when I got married, every time you get laid the first year put a dollar in a jar. Every time after the first year take a dollar out. He said you’ll never get your money back.

 

[davidwyby]

It ain't always been easy but I got pretty lucky. My wife is very chill for a female...almost an antifemale. I'm at work working on saws and she's bringing me grub as we speak.

 

[Woodslasher]

It ain't always been easy but I got pretty lucky. My wife is very chill for a female...almost an antifemale. I'm at work working on saws and she's bringing me grub as we speak.

Then why did you need me to take the blame for your saws?

 

[jacob j.]

Then why did you need me to take the blame for your saws?

Because you're good at that kind of thing.

 

[Woodslasher]

Because you're good at that kind of thing.

True, I've had lots of practice!

 

[JohnnyBlade]

Then why did you need me to take the blame for your saws?

-Take one for the team
-What they dont know dont hurt um
-happy wife happy life
-she cant be mad at a friend forever, mad at spouse/ indefinitely
-bros before ho’s
-so he can get more saws in the future
-thats what friends r for

This cracks me up! 3 weeks back a buddy dropped off a 311(i think?, only looked once the day he dropped it off) and said go through it and make it great again. NP buddy. A week later he calls and wants to talk for 2 hrs about a 2511. Hes getting it(already has it in his head) he says to me “imma tell Abby(his wife) that its gonna cost more to fix the saw then what its worth, that way she cant balk at me getting the new one” i said “dude u make like 160k a year and the saw is $400. But yup I got U, she wont get made at me”
See so dont matter who u r and how much u make, sometimes friends need favors, we have to be there for each other

 

[Woodslasher]

-Take one for the team
-What they don't know don't hurt um
-happy wife happy life
-she can't be mad at a friend forever, mad at spouse/ indefinitely
-bros before ho’s
-so he can get more saws in the future
-that's what friends r for

This cracks me up! 3 weeks back a buddy dropped off a 311(i think?, only looked once the day he dropped it off) and said go through it and make it great again. NP buddy. A week later he calls and wants to talk for 2 hrs about a 2511. Hes getting it(already has it in his head) he says to me “Imma tell Abby(his wife) that its gonna cost more to fix the saw then what its worth, that way she cant balk at me getting the new one” i said “dude u make like 160k a year and the saw is $400. But yup I got U, she wont get made at me”
See so don't matter who u r and how much u make, sometimes friends need favors, we have to be there for each other

Teach him to store his saws in a shed so she won't immediately notice if he gets a new one, them play it off like he's always had it. "This one? What're you talking about? I've always had this one."

 

[JohnnyBlade]

Teach him to store his saws in a shed so she won't immediately notice if he gets a new one, them play it off like he's always had it. "This one? What're you talking about? I've always had this one."

Lol! Also a good one! His shop/shed is about 200 yrds from the house so that one could definitely work. I dont think his wife makes that trek very often, let alone pays attn when shes out there

 

[jacob j.]

Lol! Also a good one! His shop/shed is about 200 yrds from the house so that one could definitely work. I dont think his wife makes that trek very often, let alone pays attn when shes out there

Wives usually don't, kind of like how husbands don't really pay attention to shoes and purses.

 

[JohnnyBlade]

Wives usually don't, kind of like how husbands don't really pay attention to shoes and purses.

Ed Zachary. But its the boxes on the front porch that gets ya in trouble. Cant make excuses if it has ur name on it