the struggle is real

[Stump Shot]

What a *s-wordty thread.

Scott ain't full of *s-worde either.

 

[Wisconsin Welder]

I hope you feel better Scott, I'd like to relate a story to you, maybe make ya feel better. I have stomach problems so this kinda thing happens to me sometimes. A few years ago I got a nasty cut on my leg and it got infected, I went back to the doctor, they re-did the stitches and put me on antibiotics. Now my stomach was ALL screwed up.

It's a Saturday in July, it's hot and my wife and I are out running errands, so I'm already done dealing with *s-word for the day. We stop at the Goodwill so she can look for whatever the *f-word, I'm walking around people watching and then it hits, gotta go right now, sharp pains in my tummy gotta go NOW.

I get to the mens bathroom, its small, one stall, a big handicapped one, and the door to this stall is in line with the door to the bathroom, as soon as you open the bathroom door you see the handicapped stall door, remember this part.

I get in the stall and there is water on the floor, just enough to make it splashy, and its just gross in there, the toilet has no water in it, looks like it was recently destroyed and clogged, I have no choice at this point, this hurts. So I spend a few minutes dying on the toilet, stand up, sit back down, stand up, sit down, go again type scenario. I'm keeping my knees spread apart so my shorts don't touch the water on the floor.

Oh, forgot to mention, the Madonna song "Like a Prayer" is playing on the store speakers.

I go to get cleaned up, there is one spool of TP left, one of those big commercial ones that goes in a big commercial dispenser, but the spool is on top of the dispenser, because I don't want to sit on the toilet I'm kinda struggling to wipe my entire ass off, so I'm standing up, legs spread to keep my shorts off the ground. I go to wipe and the toilet paper roll that i had just balanced on top of the dispenser again, starts to roll off,

I've got one hand in my ass, the other holding up my shorts, I tried to stop the roll of TP from falling into this piss-chit whatever water with my foot, bad idea, I'm not 20 anymore and I weigh 300 pounds. I lose my balance and start to fall backwards, my hand leaves my shorts and I go to grab the top of the stall, I grab the top of the door, it bends a little and then the latch snaps. I fall backwards, bare-assed onto the already wet floor and the door is flung open, A man walks in through the bathroom door with his young son and there I am with the song playing, writhing around half naked getting up.

I went and found my wife and got the *f-word outta there. Stripped quickly in the parking lot, threw my clothes in the bed of the truck, emptied a fleet farm bag and sat on that for 20 minutes on the ride home.

Hope ya feel better LMAO

 

[sawmikaze]

You got an extra Chicklet or two lying around for Scott?

I got a few spares.

 

[smokey7]

I'm no doc but I've never had what you got going on from antibiotics. I think you need to go to a doc and need a better dentist.

 

[Mastermind]

I hope you feel better Scott, I'd like to relate a story to you, maybe make ya feel better. I have stomach problems so this kinda thing happens to me sometimes. A few years ago I got a nasty cut on my leg and it got infected, I went back to the doctor, they re-did the stitches and put me on antibiotics. Now my stomach was ALL screwed up.

It's a Saturday in July, it's hot and my wife and I are out running errands, so I'm already done dealing with *s-word for the day. We stop at the Goodwill so she can look for whatever the *f-word, I'm walking around people watching and then it hits, gotta go right now, sharp pains in my tummy gotta go NOW.

I get to the mens bathroom, its small, one stall, a big handicapped one, and the door to this stall is in line with the door to the bathroom, as soon as you open the bathroom door you see the handicapped stall door, remember this part.

I get in the stall and there is water on the floor, just enough to make it splashy, and its just gross in there, the toilet has no water in it, looks like it was recently destroyed and clogged, I have no choice at this point, this hurts. So I spend a few minutes dying on the toilet, stand up, sit back down, stand up, sit down, go again type scenario. I'm keeping my knees spread apart so my shorts don't touch the water on the floor.

Oh, forgot to mention, the Madonna song "Like a Prayer" is playing on the store speakers.

I go to get cleaned up, there is one spool of TP left, one of those big commercial ones that goes in a big commercial dispenser, but the spool is on top of the dispenser, because I don't want to sit on the toilet I'm kinda struggling to wipe my entire ass off, so I'm standing up, legs spread to keep my shorts off the ground. I go to wipe and the toilet paper roll that i had just balanced on top of the dispenser again, starts to roll off,

I've got one hand in my ass, the other holding up my shorts, I tried to stop the roll of TP from falling into this piss-chit whatever water with my foot, bad idea, I'm not 20 anymore and I weigh 300 pounds. I lose my balance and start to fall backwards, my hand leaves my shorts and I go to grab the top of the stall, I grab the top of the door, it bends a little and then the latch snaps. I fall backwards, bare-assed onto the already wet floor and the door is flung open, A man walks in through the bathroom door with his young son and there I am with the song playing, writhing around half naked getting up.

I went and found my wife and got the *f-word outta there. Stripped quickly in the parking lot, threw my clothes in the bed of the truck, emptied a fleet farm bag and sat on that for 20 minutes on the ride home.

Hope ya feel better LMAO

Very vivid images in my mind.

Thansk ????????

 

[Stump Shot]

Very vivid images in my mind.

Thansk ????????

Fleet Farm will never quite be the same for me.

 

[tree monkey]

What a *s-wordty thread.

I didn't see any thread in it, is this a hint?

 

[tree monkey]

I hope you feel better Scott, I'd like to relate a story to you, maybe make ya feel better. I have stomach problems so this kinda thing happens to me sometimes. A few years ago I got a nasty cut on my leg and it got infected, I went back to the doctor, they re-did the stitches and put me on antibiotics. Now my stomach was ALL screwed up.

It's a Saturday in July, it's hot and my wife and I are out running errands, so I'm already done dealing with *s-word for the day. We stop at the Goodwill so she can look for whatever the *f-word, I'm walking around people watching and then it hits, gotta go right now, sharp pains in my tummy gotta go NOW.

I get to the mens bathroom, its small, one stall, a big handicapped one, and the door to this stall is in line with the door to the bathroom, as soon as you open the bathroom door you see the handicapped stall door, remember this part.

I get in the stall and there is water on the floor, just enough to make it splashy, and its just gross in there, the toilet has no water in it, looks like it was recently destroyed and clogged, I have no choice at this point, this hurts. So I spend a few minutes dying on the toilet, stand up, sit back down, stand up, sit down, go again type scenario. I'm keeping my knees spread apart so my shorts don't touch the water on the floor.

Oh, forgot to mention, the Madonna song "Like a Prayer" is playing on the store speakers.

I go to get cleaned up, there is one spool of TP left, one of those big commercial ones that goes in a big commercial dispenser, but the spool is on top of the dispenser, because I don't want to sit on the toilet I'm kinda struggling to wipe my entire ass off, so I'm standing up, legs spread to keep my shorts off the ground. I go to wipe and the toilet paper roll that i had just balanced on top of the dispenser again, starts to roll off,

I've got one hand in my ass, the other holding up my shorts, I tried to stop the roll of TP from falling into this piss-chit whatever water with my foot, bad idea, I'm not 20 anymore and I weigh 300 pounds. I lose my balance and start to fall backwards, my hand leaves my shorts and I go to grab the top of the stall, I grab the top of the door, it bends a little and then the latch snaps. I fall backwards, bare-assed onto the already wet floor and the door is flung open, A man walks in through the bathroom door with his young son and there I am with the song playing, writhing around half naked getting up.

I went and found my wife and got the *f-word outta there. Stripped quickly in the parking lot, threw my clothes in the bed of the truck, emptied a fleet farm bag and sat on that for 20 minutes on the ride home.

Hope ya feel better LMAO

it's a Wisconsin thing, lmao

 

[Stump Shot]

I didn't see any thread in it, is this a hint?

Not sure, but I can see why it could still be a problem.

 

[Stump Shot]

For some relief...

 

[leadfarmer]

I hope you feel better Scott, I'd like to relate a story to you, maybe make ya feel better. I have stomach problems so this kinda thing happens to me sometimes. A few years ago I got a nasty cut on my leg and it got infected, I went back to the doctor, they re-did the stitches and put me on antibiotics. Now my stomach was ALL screwed up.

It's a Saturday in July, it's hot and my wife and I are out running errands, so I'm already done dealing with *s-word for the day. We stop at the Goodwill so she can look for whatever the *f-word, I'm walking around people watching and then it hits, gotta go right now, sharp pains in my tummy gotta go NOW.

I get to the mens bathroom, its small, one stall, a big handicapped one, and the door to this stall is in line with the door to the bathroom, as soon as you open the bathroom door you see the handicapped stall door, remember this part.

I get in the stall and there is water on the floor, just enough to make it splashy, and its just gross in there, the toilet has no water in it, looks like it was recently destroyed and clogged, I have no choice at this point, this hurts. So I spend a few minutes dying on the toilet, stand up, sit back down, stand up, sit down, go again type scenario. I'm keeping my knees spread apart so my shorts don't touch the water on the floor.

Oh, forgot to mention, the Madonna song "Like a Prayer" is playing on the store speakers.

I go to get cleaned up, there is one spool of TP left, one of those big commercial ones that goes in a big commercial dispenser, but the spool is on top of the dispenser, because I don't want to sit on the toilet I'm kinda struggling to wipe my entire ass off, so I'm standing up, legs spread to keep my shorts off the ground. I go to wipe and the toilet paper roll that i had just balanced on top of the dispenser again, starts to roll off,

I've got one hand in my ass, the other holding up my shorts, I tried to stop the roll of TP from falling into this piss-chit whatever water with my foot, bad idea, I'm not 20 anymore and I weigh 300 pounds. I lose my balance and start to fall backwards, my hand leaves my shorts and I go to grab the top of the stall, I grab the top of the door, it bends a little and then the latch snaps. I fall backwards, bare-assed onto the already wet floor and the door is flung open, A man walks in through the bathroom door with his young son and there I am with the song playing, writhing around half naked getting up.

I went and found my wife and got the *f-word outta there. Stripped quickly in the parking lot, threw my clothes in the bed of the truck, emptied a fleet farm bag and sat on that for 20 minutes on the ride home.

Hope ya feel better LMAO

I do believe I just *s-wordith meself[emoji16][emoji23][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787]

 

[ucm931]

Sounds like a chitstorm, that's for sure.

 

[Duane(Pa)]

Went to sh1t and the hogs ate him...

 

[3browns]

In Australia we have a saying....

The funniest (or saddest) part of this is that American largely have a perception that OZ is still a land of rough and rugged individuals and that political correctness isn't a thing

But as an Alaskan I know how people in America still think Alaska is the same; the last frontier and all that chit

One drive around downtown Anchorage changes that perception because you can't swing a cat without hitting thousands of hipster/millennial/snowflake/LGBTQ types

Guess if we want rough and rugged, Mars is still pretty much wild and untamed...

But apparently the logging pretty much sucks

 

[Junk Meister]

can you imagine how boring life would be if nothing ever went wrong.

so 6 months ago I had a bad heart attack. the docs shoved a tube in every hole in my body and a few more. in doing so, they broke a front tooth. when I got out of the hospital, I went to the dentist. they couldn't do anything for it for 6 months, and so the real story begins.

so a few weeks ago, on a Saturday morning I wake up with this broken tooth infected and my face blew up like a balloon. so now i'm wishing the weekend would end and Monday would get here already. this was the longest weekend of my life.

so I get to the dentist Monday morning, all they can do is give me some antibiotics. so off I go, Monday, pain, Tuesday, pain, Wednesday, pain, Thursday, I gotta *s-word, and again, and again. so now i'm chained to the throne. I don't dare to get off the dam thing. I then learned what the true meaning of explosive diarrhea. this is a bad time to have gas. for a split second your toilet thinks it's a bidet and washes your ass with *s-word. I mean every part of your body that is within that seat. and your almost out of tp. this went on for over a week, it was like I turned into a really pissed off skunk.

Is your Dentist or Pharmacist a Prankster? Did the antibiotic come as a White Capsule and have "LINZESS" on the bottle?
A schlitzty attempt at humor

 

[tree monkey]

well ya know what they say, *s-word happens

 

[3browns]

well ya know what they say, *s-word happens

And apparently happens, and happens, and happens...

GWS

 

[Junk Meister]

Scott ain't full of *s-worde either.

How could he be after all (the *s-wordE) he has been through.

 

[Motorhead]

HOLY CRAP

 

[Stump Shot]

well ya know what they say, *s-word happens

At least it cleared your mind free of chit.