Tell me a joke.....

[angelo c]

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:

Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitch-hiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.'

Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'

Man: 'What sins?'

Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'

Man: 'I'm Jewish.'

Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'

Man: 'I'm 92 years old .. . . . I'm telling everybody

 

[angelo c]

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.

'What was that for?' the man asked.

The wife replied , 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.

The man then said 'When I was at the races last week , Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on . '

The wife apologized and went on with the housework.



Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.



Wife replied. 'Your horse called asking for you'

 

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[merc_man]

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[merc_man]

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[merc_man]

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[Pincher]

A plane has five passengers on board: Donald Trump, the Pope, Dr. Anthony Fauci , Hillary Clinton, and a ten year old school girl. The plane is about to crash and there are only four parachutes.
Dr Fauci, said “I need one. I have to help develop a cure for the global health crisis that is COVID19!” He straps on a parachute and jumps.
The pope said “I need one, I have to help spiritually guide people through the global health crisis that is COVID19!” He takes one and jumps.
Hillary said ‘‘I need one, I’m the smartest woman in the United States.” she takes one and jumps.
President Trump pauses for a moment and then turns to the 10-year-old. After a deep sigh, he says tenderly, "You can have the last parachute. I've lived my life, yours is only starting". The child replies, "Don’t worry. There are two parachutes left. The smartest woman in the United States took my school backpack."