Tell me a joke.....

[Philbert]

Philbert

 

[Bill G]

 

[Bill G]

 

[EFSM]

This one pops up every several dozen pages, but I never get tired of it.

 

[Bill G]

My oldest son came home from elementary school one day and his mother was razing him about a girl in his class. He paused a bit, looked his mother in the eye, and said Mom she is the kind of ugly no makeup will fix.

That is actually a true story.

 

[Bill G]

I guess it is bad I got this from a girl I knew many decades ago but I am too old to care.

 

[Wilhelm]

 

[Wilhelm]

 

[Wilhelm]

 

[Wilhelm]

 

[Wilhelm]

 

[Motorka]

 

[Wilhelm]

 

[Wilhelm]

 

[Wilhelm]

 

[Wilhelm]

 

[Wilhelm]

 

[Wilhelm]

 

[EFSM]

One of our salesmen is a chronic joker, and is very adept at weaving a joke into a real-sounding story. He said the other day that he almost got killed by a horse one time. He fell off and got his foot caught in the stirrup. He was really getting shook up until his mother ran out of K-mart and unplugged it.
He is a rather portly man (W. Churchill build). Once his wife gave him a talking bathroom scales for Christmas. He stepped on it and it said, "One at a time, please! One at a time, please."
One year his wife didn't give him any birthday present. He asked her why. She responded, "You didn't use the one I gave you last year." She had given him a tombstone.
When he was young, his family was too poor to buy the food they needed during the winter, so his mother read recipes out of the cookbook to sustain the children. However, his little brother was hard of hearing and nearly starved to death. Also, they were too poor to afford a dog, so his dad would send the children out to the road to bark at cars.

 

[Philbert]

Are trees felled by beavers eternally dammed?

Philbert