Tell me a joke.....

[Philbert]

Choices . . .


Philbert

 

[Wood Doctor]

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me
for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets
and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that
I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too."
That same year I somehow forgot about Valentines day.

 

[fossil]

 

[fossil]

 

[Wood Doctor]

Or as a former dedicated worker for a cattle feedlot used to tell me:

"Eat Beef. The west wasn't won on salad."

 

[Brush Ape]

A penguin is driving along on a hot day in his chevy when it starts to smoke. Luckily it happens right on a main road in front of a mechanic’s shop next to a 711. He rolls in and the mechanic says he’ll take a look right away.

The penguin goes over to the 711 to grab an ice cream cone. Penguins love ice cream but are very sloppy eaters and he gets it all over his beak.

Then he goes back to the mechanic and asks, “well how bad is it”?

The mechanic replies, “It looks like you just blew a seal”.

The penguin says, “No that’s just some *f-wordin’ ice cream”.

 

[Philbert]

Philbert

 

[fossil]

 

[fossil]

 

[fossil]

 

[fossil]

 

[fossil]

I am not above playing the senior's card.

 

[Philbert]

My dog is a Lab mix;

We just added water.

Philbert

 

[Philbert]

Philbert

 

[Scotty Overkill]

It's a short and cheesy one, but I heard it today and liked it.....

What did the bartender tell the jumper cables when they walked into the bar?

"Don't you be starting anything in here!"

Lol.....

 

[Philbert]

Philbert

 

[Philbert]

Philbert

 

[fossil]

 

[fossil]

 

[Partner]