Tell me a joke.....

[Motorhead]

 

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[Philbert]

Worth watching the first 20 seconds or so . . . .

Philbert

 

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[Wood Doctor]

As Motorhead said, let's slow down now and then.

 

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[birdmeter]

View attachment 293379

ooooooo mmmmmmmm ggggggggggggg

 

[birdmeter]

General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
Please follow his reply to the lady who
interviewed him concerning guns and children.

Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you have to love this!
This is one of the best comeback lines of all time.
In a portion of an ABC radio interview between a female broadcaster
and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a
Boy Scout Troop visiting his military Headquarters.


FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to
teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range..

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly
dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper
rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
(W ith supercilious and superior sneer)






But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radiocast went silent for the remaining





46 seconds.

 

[birdmeter]

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said
'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Akio, a bright foreign
exchange student from Japan , who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775," he
said.

"Very good! -- Who said, 'Government of the People, by the People, for the
People, shall not perish from the Earth'?" Again, no response except from
Little Akio: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

"Excellent!" said the teacher continuing, "Let's try one a bit more
difficult -- Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what
you can do for your country'?"

Once again, Akio's was the only hand in the air and he said: "John F.
Kennedy, 1961."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed of
yourselves, Little Akio isn't from this country and he knows more about our
history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "F_ _ k the Japs."

"Who said that? -- I want to know right now!?" she angrily demanded. Little
Akio put his hand up, "General MacArthur, 1945."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke.' The teacher
glares around and asks, 'All right! -- Now who said that?" Again, Little
Akio says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? -- Suck this!" Little Akio
jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill
Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, "You little *s-word! -- If you say
anything else -- I'll kill you!" Little Akio frantically yells at the top of
his voice, "Michael Jackson to the children testifying against him, 2004."

The teacher fainted. As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor,
someone said, "Oh *s-word, We're screwed!" Little Akio said quietly, "The
American people, November 4, 2008.

 

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