- Local time
- 9:38 AM
- User ID
- 639
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2016
- Messages
- 8,266
- Reaction score
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- Location
- Missouri
It was you!!! You caused me all the problems!!!
Damn straight!
It was you!!! You caused me all the problems!!!
How are you getting on buddy?Hello guys and gals! Well this is just down right embarrassing! Now that I have returned to earth, let me start out by saying this.
Hello my name is Cody. I am sorry for how I have acted on this site over the past week. Believe it or not, I've been 2 sheets to the wind for what my father says has been a month straight. I thought I only had a problem with drugs but I guess as I've recently discovered alcohol is a problem as well.
It started when I had to remove my father's dog off the street that we live on. It constantly has big rigs hauling hay,logs or corn and a whole lot of ass. I felt and still feel as if his death is because of me. Watching my father fall to his knees crying as I walked up the driveway with his dog in my arms, caused my mental state to completely change.
I have never seen that man shed a single tear! even with the medical problems he has that is grocery lists long. It was like a song set on repeat in my mind. It caused me to hit the bottle.
My last post that I made was the last night of this beinge drinking. That night my cat had passed away which made me drink even more. I completely blackout and apparently took the keys to my mother's car and drove it through our plastic fencing. Luckily that's where to car stopped and the ground right next to it is where I stopped.
To anyone that I may have frustrated with my ramblings I apologize. This isn't meant to be an excuse for my actions just an explanation. All I can do is say sorry. To anyone that my drunken ramblings made laugh I say, I'm glad to be of service
I've learned Mental health medication and alcohol don't mix. Or atlease for me they dont. After coming back to relativity. I walked out to my shop with my father following me. as soon as i open the door i notice something big and orange on my bench. I turned to my father and said, who's 372 is that? I thought someone dropped it off for me to repair or port. My father responded that's your saw. This pissed me off a little, I said why the hell did you get me a present! What the hell good have I done to deserve something like that? Apparently I've had it for 2 weeks.
I have been wanting a real one since I got that holzfforma version. I guess I got my wishSome of you helped me figure things out on it. I don't recall it but I thank you.
As I've gone back through all my posts trying to puzzle what had happened throughout this month. I noticed someone said I wanted to stir the pot or something!?!? as in cause drama amongst people on this site. I don't know if that is what I was trying to do. but I can tell you this that is not my intention.
To finish this post off, I hope that there is a way to hit reset within this community. I hadn't even planned on creating a account for a while. I guess shyness or something was holding me back. The things I said about my past like being anti social and the drug use is all true. From what I reread I didn't lie about anything.
Again I'm sorry.
Well said.eing clean sober seems so hard when you first realize that you are out of control......but after some practice being sober and not doing drugs it gets easier to stay that way. the hard part is not the stopping. its stopping and not working on changing ourselves. the true gift of being recovered from drugs and alcohol is the opportunity to change into a more authentic version of myself.