Tell me a joke.....

[ajschainsaws]

 

[Wood Doctor]

Halloween is upon us, Right?

A skeleton heard something funny in his tomb and woke up. He noticed that a Zombie was robbing his grave, carrying his priceless buried treasures away.

He somehow mustered up some strength, cleared what was left of his throat, and yelled out, "Wait a minute, big ghoul. Before you go any further, I've got a few bones to pick with you."

 

[Ryan Browne]

What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?











It's gonna take me a while to get hard. I just got laid.

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Wood Doctor]

The headless horseman was arrested by a state trooper for driving his horse too fast. The trooper said, "Look guy, you cannot drive a horse that hard. Don't you have a brain in your head? Your going to kill that animal."

The horseman calmly removed his pumpkin from atop his shoulders and handed it to the trooper. The trooper set the big pumpkin on the hood of his police car for a moment while he filled out a warning ticket.

Then he said, "OK, big guy, here's a warning ticket, but next time you will have to explain all this to the judge. Would you like your pumpkin back?"

The pumpkin then replied, "Wake up, trooper, the horseman is out of his mind."

 

[brainie]

One day...this little boy was walkin down a country road. He walked by an old farmer who was fixin his mail box...farmer looked up n said...hey kid...watcha doin...little boy replies....i got me some chicken wire n im goin to catch me some chicken...farmer looks at im n says...ya just cant catch chickens cause ya have chicken wire.
Little boy smiles n continues walkin....about an hour later...boy come walkin bac up the lane with a hand full of chickens...farmer just shakes his head as the boy walks by.
Next mornin...farmer finishin up his mailbox...little boy walks by....farmer says...hey ya little *s-word...what ya doin...little boy says...i got me duct tape n im gonne catch me ducks...farmer says..what the matter with ya....ya cant catch ducks with just duct tape...little boy continues on...about a half hour later..boy comes bac with a hand full of ducks.
Next mornin...farmers out cleanin out his ditch...little boy walks by...farmer says...hey ya little *s-word...watcha doin with those sticks....little boys says....well sir..these arent ordinary sticks...there pussy willow sticks....farmer jumps up n says....HOLD ON YA LITTLE *s-word...IM GOIN TO GET MY HAT!!!!!

 

[maulhead]

Little Johnny dresses up as a pirate for halloween.

He has a bit of a speech impediment.

The first house he goes to he says, "I'm a birate. This is my barrot. Can I have some bandy?"

The man looks at him and says, "OK, but where are your buccaneers?"

The Johnny looks at him and says "On the side of my buckin head, where are your buckin eyes."

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[nickw]

View attachment 148216

That looks like my sister in law. Guess I'd better check. She's usually pretty good on a broom.

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[ajschainsaws]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Motorhead]