why am i always right?
mutherfukkin cable company has been tickling my sphincter for 2+ years about crappy service, tiling on screen, drop outs to internet etc.
finally badger these dickrubbers enough they send out a lineman to replace the drop and then after the recommendations of four different techs they replace the broken and corroded tap face
fast forward a few months and the low hanging new drop gets hit by a semi going down my street and torn out, they just put it back up and bad signal ensues again another year and i finally order a new tier of commercial service that requires a new line, well whatdayafuckinknow its all fixed again, after i spend a couple grand to replace all of my own equipment, turns out its their fault, again
no wonder ineedfuckintherapy the whole world if full of *dipsticks who refuse to do my bidding despite my always being right
this world needs an emperor and i elect me, those who don't submit deserve the hell they inherit
i stumble out of bed at 5:13 to take an epic piss and on the way to my throne some mouthbreathing pimp pillow runs a car into a power pole and I am standing in the dark, wang in hand, stream engaged -
I carry on like a boss, guided by the force
then the *f-wordinbatterybackups all start chirping around the house demanding attention like the soul sucking hoes they are
I gather my apple iLeash and use its evil glow to navigate to the UPSs and silence their happy chatter, insolent devices refuse to answer my mental demands, I gotta go touch them, jealous hungry beasts
As I stumble back to the throne to release a thundershit the power returns, it must have felt my anger
temps dropped into fall range for the first time last night, i slept nude, awoke to darkness and 57 degrees, frost on the wife's car, spent two days trying to clear a parking space, like most other projects, doomed to failure from inception
Why did we trade Dallas for T1?
Ya throw a house party and when a drunken moron shows up and breaks up your parents furniture you invite him to stay and put his dick in the fridge and ask your friends to leave?
It is pretty damn funny when he asks the Anti-porter for a tracking number though
*f-wordindoinksfuckinamish
