How do you react when your son says something that makes you wonder.

[Bill G]

This is totally off-topic and has nothing to do with saws but it deals with life in general. Yesterday my oldest son and I were driving around the area after picking up Friday's auction items. We were talking about all sorts of things. I asked him who one of the guys was that was helping load as I thought it was the auctioneer's son. He said "no Dad that was the oldest Jackson boy" I say Jackson just to use a common name...... My son went on to say "I did not know if you would recognize him or not" Well of course I had not recognized him because I had not seen him since I helped with little league baseball years ago. The kid had given my third son a lot of grief in school. That son was suspended from school a few times for shall we say pounding on the Jackson kid a bit. We had a shared Junior High and High school. I was teaching shop class in the high school. I would get a call to go speak to Mr. Ruff (yes that is his name) when I had my free period to discuss my son. When that son was in 6th grade I was teaching an 8th grade exploratory shop class for the first time in many years. I was having issues with the kids as they had been coddled and babied and I do not do that. It is time to grow up. Ole Mr. Ruff was a huge enabler of the coddling. He was not my boss but he sure thought he was since I had one period of 8th graders. I was laying down the law on them and he was on my ass trying to micro-manage. Well one day I get a call to go see him and I am loaded for bear. He says my son in the 6th grade had punched the Jackson kid. I said yeah and so. Ole Ruff says well your son said you told him to do it. I said yeah, can you get to your point I have to get back to class? He says well why would you say that to him. I ask well what provoked my son to start wailing on the Jackson kid. Ole Ruff says well reportedly the Jackson kid called him a fatty or fatso. I said well then what did you expect my son to do? Ruff, you have known about the harassment for a long time and you have done nothing. You have failed at your job. I told my son the next time the kid lips off let him have it and my son did so, now Ruff, once again what is your point? Ole Ruff does not know what to say other than well I am suspending your son. I said fine and what about the next time it occurs? His reply was hopefully you teach your son that violence is never the answer. I say well I will see you the next time the kid lips off and my son reacts. Well the Jackson kid just kept up and I was called into Ruff's office more. It continued into high school.

Now flash forward to yesterday and my question for folks. My oldest son are talking about the Jackson kid. I just say that I hoped he matured and was doing good. My son says well the apple does not fall far from the tree. I know he is referencing the parents, the mother especially. He goes on to say the word that made my jaw drop. He said the Jackson kid's mother was a royal C "hunt". Now I swear a lot but I do not believe in my lifetime I have ever referenced a woman by that name and I know none of my three sons or wife have heard me say it. I grew up with grandparents that never uttered a swear word in their life. My great- grandfather and all his sons were ministers so my grandmother never swore. My grandfather was the same. My father was different. He was a lot more outspoken and rough. He could put a string of swear words together like no other. I know I heard him use c-hunt but it just made my stomach turn. He also had a habit of referencing someone as a stupid c-sucker. As I said I do swear but those are just terms that always made me cringe. It is funny when my dad would hear me swear around my wife. He would jump on me and read me the riot act.

Now my question is not regarding swearing and we all have our opinions. My question is has anyone faced the dilemma when their adult son uses some language that you feel is horrible and despicable? How do you react? I said nothing but it is still bothering me this afternoon wondering what went wrong.

 

[mainer_in_ak]

Good afternoon, today in this session, I am your internet coach, on a chainsaw forum, which is really bizarre. You are to follow the entirety of my advice. Here goes:

Your son should apologize to Ms. Jackson.

Here's an apology example he could use:

I'm sorry Miss Jackson ohh I am for real.
Never meant to make your sonny cry
I apologize a trillion times.
I'm sorry Miss Jackson ohh, I am for real.

 

[bogieboy]

Good afternoon, today in this session, I am your internet coach, on a chainsaw forum, which is really bizarre. You are to follow the entirety of my advice. Here goes:

Your son should apologize to Ms. Jackson.

Here's an apology example he could use:

I'm sorry Miss Jackson ohh I am for real.
Never meant to make your sonny cry
I apologize a trillion times.
I'm sorry Miss Jackson ohh, I am for real.

I saw where that was going immediately....

 

[Bill G]

My oldest was the one that referred to her as a c hunt. The youngest kicked the snot of her kid years ago and he did it for good reason which at the time and to this day fully support. I just do not like anyone referencing a woman in that way. I do not care for her in the slightest but I draw the line at that word.

 

[Steve]

I don't have grown kids but I do have two mid teens. First time I hear them use a bad word they get an over exaggerated verbal response for 5 minutes over no need for that kind of language. Second time I hear it, which mind you has only happened once, surprise instant smack in the mouth.

Since it bothers you this bad why don't you just tell him you don't appreciate him referring to women that way wether they think they deserve it or not? You're still the dad! . If your kids are anything like you they should respond to well explained reason.

 

[Bill G]

I don't have grown kids but I do have two mid teens. First time I hear them use a bad word they get an over exaggerated verbal response for 5 minutes over no need for that kind of language. Second time I hear it, which mind you has only happened once, surprise instant smack in the mouth.

Since it bothers you this bad why don't you just tell him you don't appreciate him referring to women that way wether they think they deserve it or not? You're still the dad! . If your kids are anything like you they should respond to well explained reason.

Well I have to walk a fine line as he is getting married next year and I know we will have some discussions around that they may not go well. Also he is wanting to move across the river to Iowa to get away from our oppressive gun regulations. I am not pleased and I am gently trying to caution against it.

 

[Bill G]

Two of my sons and I spent Saturday at a tractor show. I do not bring up the impending wedding. I just listened.....it was not good.