Tell me a joke.....

[Motorhead]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Wood Doctor]

A New York local hospital discovers that a top-secret cure for a rare disease was recorded on a flash drive that they somehow failed to back up. The flash drive was then swallowed by a hungry rabbit that escaped into the woods.

They called the CIA for help but they reported that they could not work on domestic issues within the USA. So, they called the FBI for help. The federal team went into the woods, burned out most of the bushes where rabbits usually hide and reported back, "There's no rabbit in that woods. So much for that."

So, they called in the NYPD and after awhile they came back with a hand-cuffed bear, not a rabbit. The bear had a bloody nose and blackened eyes and was almost unconscious after being beaten up. However, the bear kept saying between growls, "OK, OK, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit!" Those were its last words.

But, there's more. Finally, the NYPD contacted the Chief Medical Examiner. The Doc arrives and takes a look at the dead bear and does a scan with the latest portable imaging device and says, "That bear just ate a rabbit, likely the bear's last meal. I'll do an on-site autopsy."

She carefully opens the bear's tummy and says, "Men, there appears to be a flash drive inside the rabbit's stomach. That's a first for me."

After some more surgical work, she hands the little flash drive to the hospital administrator and says, "Glad to be your back-up."

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Wood Doctor]

View attachment 180194

I remember a Jack Russell terrier that I thought was my friend while growing up. I still have the scar on my chin to prove that I was mistaken.

 

[Motorhead]

 

[JohnnyBlade]

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck had a 2153 with extra sausage?

Let that sink in for a minute.....
Im over this week already. Need to play with saws already...............

 

[Motorhead]

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck had a 2153 with extra sausage?

Let that sink in for a minute.....
Im over this week already. Need to play with saws already...............

Picked this up today,gonna soup it up a little

 

[JohnnyBlade]

View attachment 180516 View attachment 180515
Picked this up today,gonna soup it up a little

LMAO! In theory it should make 8hp now for a min or 2 anyways

 

[Wood Doctor]

LMAO! In theory it should make 8hp now for a min or 2 anyways

You have to love conversions from KW to Hp, especially when accompanied by that avatar. Good show, Johnny.

Now all we have to do is find a long cord that can carry 50 amps and a small 230v engine that can convert that electricity to mechanical energy. Please do not ask me to carry that up a tree. TIA.

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Wood Doctor]

View attachment 180517

Ans: A horny prostitute, short on cash.

 

[Motorhead]

 

[Wood Doctor]

A young, buxom, blonde woman goes to the supermarket. She starts walking up and down the aisles. Each aisle she goes to she touches her head, her ears, her breasts, and her crotch. Naturally she caught the attention of the store manager. He watched her go up and down the aisles. Each aisle the blonde kept doing this routine.

After a number of times the store manager approached her and asked if she is having a problem. She told him no. He then asked, “Why do you make those hand gestures and touch yourself like that?”

The young blonde replied, “Oh that. I’m just trying to remember my grocery list.”

The manager was perplexed and gave her a very confused look. The blonde continued, while going through the motions, “One head of lettuce, two ears of corn, two breasts of chicken, and some Fantastic!”

 

[Deets066]

A young, buxom, blonde woman goes to the supermarket. She starts walking up and down the aisles. Each aisle she goes to she touches her head, her ears, her breasts, and her crotch. Naturally she caught the attention of the store manager. He watched her go up and down the aisles. Each aisle the blonde kept doing this routine.

After a number of times the store manager approached her and asked if she is having a problem. She told him no. He then asked, “Why do you make those hand gestures and touch yourself like that?”

The young blonde replied, “Oh that. I’m just trying to remember my grocery list.”

The manager was perplexed and gave her a very confused look. The blonde continued, while going through the motions, “One head of lettuce, two ears of corn, two breasts of chicken, and some Fantastic!”

Snapper