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Wood Doctor

Edwin
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A guy walks into a bar orders 4 double shots of vodka and downs them all.

The bartender asks, "Man, what's wrong with you today?"

He says, "I just found out my younger brother is gay!"

Next day he walks into the same bar, orders the same 4 double shots of vodka and downs them all.

The bartender says, "What's wrong today?"

He says, "I just found out my older brother is gay!"

The 3rd day he walks into the same bar and orders the same 4 double shots of vodka and downs them all.

The bartender asks, "Man oh man, dude, doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

The guy says, "Yeah, today I found out my wife does."
 

Wood Doctor

Edwin
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Stock Tip of the Month:

Pfizer Corp. (PFE) is making the announcement today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as-is or as a mixer, under the name “Mount and Do.”

Pepsi’s proposed ad campaign suggests: “It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.”

My recommendation: BUY
 

Wood Doctor

Edwin
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Inner Strength:

If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can do all these things…
Then you are probably the family dog.
 

angelo c

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Stock Tip of the Month:

Pfizer Corp. (PFE) is making the announcement today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as-is or as a mixer, under the name “Mount and Do.”

Pepsi’s proposed ad campaign suggests: “It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.”

My recommendation: BUY

Edwin, I'm sorry to inform you but that may be considered "inside" information... :)
 

angelo c

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20-ways-to-maintain-healthy-level-insanity.jpg
 

Wood Doctor

Edwin
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One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side.

He ordered his driver to stop, and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man. "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.

"Oh, well, you can come with me to my house," instructed the lawyer.

"But, sir, I have a wife and two children with me!"

"Bring them along!" replied the lawyer. He turned to the other man and said: "You come with us, too."

"But I have a wife and six children," the second man answered.

"Bring them as well," replied the lawyer.

They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows said: "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied: "Glad to do it. You'll love my place; the grass is almost a foot tall."
 
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