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Just in from our affiliate WPRM in Connecticut...
Overnight the NSA and NTSB apprehended what appears to be three men of indeterminate origin who were trying to smuggle themselves into LaGuardia airport in a large shipping container along with at least two pallet loads of suspected criminal tools. Officials were tipped off to the bandits presence in the cargo area by airplane personnel who alerted the pilots that there were unusual engine sounds coming from the cargo area.
Stephanie Grumbolott, a flight attendant, told reporters she had heard the sound of engines starting and revving and then shutting down, constantly for several minutes before reporting it to the pilot. "It was just scary I thought something bad was about to happen to us all".
Once safely on the ground and away from the terminal, security forces stormed the plane and discovered the male suspects who appeared to be running, polishing and caressing chainsaws in the cargo hold. Nearby was a large cardboard crate with apparent air holes, which authorities believe the three men had used to smuggle themselves on board. Authorities have no official comment on the identities or motives of these men and assure the public they are not an ongoing threat to the community.
In custody at least one of the men would only communicate by making "Vroom, Vroom" noises with his mouth and cackling like a giddy school girl. He is currently undergoing psychological evaluation.
WPRM reporter Chip Dulz has been looking into the matter and may have uncovered a much deeper conspiracy.
Community activists say the men may be eco-terrorists looking to protest the mandatory use of Ethanol, which they believe is destroying our planet, by attending a clandestine meeting of local and international like minded activists.
This so called Piss Rev Mafia is a little known group who seem to gather in quiet, peaceful, suburban locations to plot the overthrow of the EPA and flaunt the will of the American people by running so-called "Hot Saws".
These pollution factories seem to value the speed and efficiency of small engines (chainsaws most specifically) over rules meant to limit and stifle their performance and advancement.
The NSA and CIA may be investigating links to oil producers worldwide who are also in favor of less efficient, more powerful engines for all types of uses. No link to terrorism has been proven at this point.
Concerned citizens should be on the look out for all of the following:
loud or otherwise obnoxious unfamiliar chainsaw users
gatherings of men who seem to mutter the phrase " thirty two to one" over and over
anyone wearing a T-shirt with any chainsaw related slogans or initials such as PRM or Snot Runners Unite!!
protesters carry signs saying "F the Flippy" or "Limiter Caps Are For The Weak"
vigilance against such villainy will help keep us all safe.
This has been WPRM anchor, Slocum Nob reporting from Connecticut, Good Night Sweet Prince
Overnight the NSA and NTSB apprehended what appears to be three men of indeterminate origin who were trying to smuggle themselves into LaGuardia airport in a large shipping container along with at least two pallet loads of suspected criminal tools. Officials were tipped off to the bandits presence in the cargo area by airplane personnel who alerted the pilots that there were unusual engine sounds coming from the cargo area.
Stephanie Grumbolott, a flight attendant, told reporters she had heard the sound of engines starting and revving and then shutting down, constantly for several minutes before reporting it to the pilot. "It was just scary I thought something bad was about to happen to us all".
Once safely on the ground and away from the terminal, security forces stormed the plane and discovered the male suspects who appeared to be running, polishing and caressing chainsaws in the cargo hold. Nearby was a large cardboard crate with apparent air holes, which authorities believe the three men had used to smuggle themselves on board. Authorities have no official comment on the identities or motives of these men and assure the public they are not an ongoing threat to the community.
In custody at least one of the men would only communicate by making "Vroom, Vroom" noises with his mouth and cackling like a giddy school girl. He is currently undergoing psychological evaluation.
WPRM reporter Chip Dulz has been looking into the matter and may have uncovered a much deeper conspiracy.
Community activists say the men may be eco-terrorists looking to protest the mandatory use of Ethanol, which they believe is destroying our planet, by attending a clandestine meeting of local and international like minded activists.
This so called Piss Rev Mafia is a little known group who seem to gather in quiet, peaceful, suburban locations to plot the overthrow of the EPA and flaunt the will of the American people by running so-called "Hot Saws".
These pollution factories seem to value the speed and efficiency of small engines (chainsaws most specifically) over rules meant to limit and stifle their performance and advancement.
The NSA and CIA may be investigating links to oil producers worldwide who are also in favor of less efficient, more powerful engines for all types of uses. No link to terrorism has been proven at this point.
Concerned citizens should be on the look out for all of the following:
loud or otherwise obnoxious unfamiliar chainsaw users
gatherings of men who seem to mutter the phrase " thirty two to one" over and over
anyone wearing a T-shirt with any chainsaw related slogans or initials such as PRM or Snot Runners Unite!!
protesters carry signs saying "F the Flippy" or "Limiter Caps Are For The Weak"
vigilance against such villainy will help keep us all safe.
This has been WPRM anchor, Slocum Nob reporting from Connecticut, Good Night Sweet Prince
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