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Tell me a joke.....

Wood Doctor

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A young woman brought her fiancé home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother told the girl's father to find out about the young man. The father invited the fiancé to his study for a talk.

"So, what are your plans?" the father asked the young man.

"I am a biblical scholar," he replied.

"A biblical scholar, hmmm?" the father said. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?"

"I will study," the young man replied, "and God will provide for us."

"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asked the father.

"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replied, "God will provide for us."

"And children?" asked the father. "How will you support children?"

"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replied the fiancé.

The conversation proceeded like this...and each time the father questioned, the young idealist insisted that God would provide.

Later, the mother asked, "How did your talk go, honey?"

The father answered, "He has no job, he has no plans, and he thinks I'm God."
 

Derf

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Motorhead

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So, you only carry about $5 in cash? Makes sense to me. One of my friends writes a check for breakfast at IHop and McDonalds. He loves metal detecting and has spent a dozen hours every week doing it for the past six years. No significant returns to date.
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Wood Doctor

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President Trump invited the Pope for lunch on his mega yacht. The Pope accepted and during lunch a puff of wind blew the Pontiff's hat off, right into the water. It floated off about 50 feet, then the wind died down and it just floated in place.

The crew and the Secret Service were scrambling to launch a boat to go get it, when Trump waved them off, saying, "Never mind boys, I'll get it."

Then Donald climbed over the side of the yacht, walked on the water to the hat, picked it up, walked back on the water, climbed into the yacht, and handed the Pope his hat. The crew was speechless. The security team and the Pope's entourage were speechless. No one knew what to say, not even the Pope.

But that afternoon, ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, and MSNBC reported:


"TRUMP CAN'T SWIM"
 
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